Men in Black

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We need a routine retinal scan for our files; please look into the light. You did not access Uncyclopedia. You logged on to your computer and checked your email but did nothing else. You did not access any page on Men In Black and you did not see anything when you got there. You made a cup of Earl Gray tea and went straight to bed. You do not believe in aliens or interstellar communication; as far as you are concerned, William Shatner and Will Smith are nothing more than performers and Neil Armstrong did land on the moon and not Alpha Centauri. Tomorrow, you will get a perfectly ordinary job and start a normal family. In exactly 9.2 years you will cheat on your mate. You will under no circumstances walk into a McDonald's and say "Activate code Alpha 616." You are going to sell all your possessions the day before you die. Have a nice day.