Michael Jordan

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“Hey guys, I'm here too!”

~ Scottie Pippen on Michael Jordan

“giggity!!!”

~ Luke Burris on Michael Jordan during the 1998 NBA-finals

“I'd fuck him any day.”

~ Carmen Electra on Michael Jordan

“He's sexy.”

~ That Oscar person on MJ

“ASS!!!”

~ Basketball God on Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan, in his youth.

Michael "Air" Jordan (Not to be mistaken with his brother Michael "Giggity" Jackson or the completely non related bearded video gamer of italian descent) is a retired American professional basketball player. Widely considered one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He earned the nickname "Air" because he holds the NBA record for most consecutive Airballs (28.06).

Michael Jordan is generally credited with making the first controlled, powered, heavier-than-air flight on December 17, 1903. In the two years afterward, he developed his flying machine into the world's first practical airplane, along with many other aviation milestones.

micheal jordan is a bad person and he sucks ball just like jordan gaines at north avondale montessori in the 5 grade in 216

[edit] The number 23

Michael Jordan's powers came from his jersey number, 23. This number was said to be a number of a god and that anyone who uses it will become as powerful as Michael Jordan, but must have the heart of a true ninja pirate.

[edit] Old Cheese Eyes Controversy

A candid photo of Michael taken on September 25, 2001 just after announcing his return to professional play with the Washington Wizards

Many of Michael's most dedicated fans came up with the nickname of "Old Cheese Eyes" in reference to his beautiful golden peepers. When confronted with the moniker in a groundbreaking 1999 interview for Highlights Magazine, Jordan revealed that his piercing neon yellow eyes are actually a symptom of a very serious condition known as "Peepee Opticus". Reduced to tears, he went on to discuss that his contracts required all promotional photography to be in black and white in order to prevent humiliation.

[edit] Space Jam Scuffle

"Hey now, we love fried duck as well"

This was later revealed to be cause for a dispute with fellow cast member Daffy Duck on the set of 1996 American live-action/animated film Space Jam. According to the book titled "The Pledge of Yellowagience: My Time with Cheddarwinkers Mcgoo" written by Michael's personal assistant during filming, the two would have heated arguments for hours about whether the film would be made publicly available in color.

His Airness in action

Rumors of Jordan's unreasonable behavior leaked out of the Warner Bros. Studios and into the mainstream media outlets. As a result, Jordan was forced to release a public statement. In a press conference regarding the issue, Mr. Jordan farted the national anthem, resulting in a roar of applause and laughter amongst the audience.

[edit] Michael's double

Michael Jordam's first appearance

Did you know that his airness had a double? Yes he had. His name is Michael Jordam. He was the double of the great yet not so great NBA player, Michael "Air" Jordan. After Jordan's first retirement, he hired a double to play for his team whenever he had something better to do like when he goes to church, attends his brother's birthday, attend his dog's birthday, have sex with his wife, have sex with Jordam's wife, do the laundry, mow the lawn, sleep on the couch like a lazy bastard and other more important stuff than just playing basketball in a league that is dominated by black people. He had the original number 45 but when Jordan knew about this, he insisted that he should wear the famous number of a god, 23.

The person who we should give credit to is this person Michael Jordam and not Michael Jordan. In the the overall total points 32,292, the real Michael Jordan scored only 4,872 out of it. It was Jordam who led the Bulls to a 27th championship and not the real Michael Jordan. While Jordan was drinking and gambling with his friends, Jordam led the Bulls to their 6th championship.

After Jordan's Retirement, Michael Jordam went to the University of Hogwart to study witchcraft at the age of 68. He hasn't been set yet, excluding his first starring role in the porno, Shafting for 23.

[edit] Weaknesses

• Himself
• The Number 45
• Marriage
• Dairy Products
• Pokémon
• His brother
• Bad boys
• Bugs Bunny and friends
• Karl Malone
• Vacuum Cleaners
• Baseball
• Your Mom
• Fei Lu

[edit] Michael's Other, Other Stats

• 9996 HP
• 800 MP
• 132 BPM
• Limit Break - 3 Point Dunkin' Mania

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