Middle East

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The Middle East, is a region of Middle Earth, east of the Middle West between Africa, Asia Minor, and Australia. The region was discovered by the US in the late 1970's mere days after the discovery of oil.

Today the is the most peaceful region on Earth. Socio-marine physicists claim this is due to the high levels of religion in the area and the natives playing Beirut.

Oscar Wilde on the Middle East: "The Middle East is like a fresh pot of tea and a hot buttered crumpet" or like "a huge duck in the mouth"

There are no sunsets in the Middle East because the sun sets in the west.

1 Ancient History
2 The Middle East Today
3 In Conclusion
4 See also
5 External links

[edit] Ancient History

The first great civilization in the Middle was that of the Babylonians (so called because the wealth of their empire was built on the baby-loaning industry), the Babylonians invented running water, running beans and running, but perhaps what they are best known for is their hanging gardens (a euphemism for breasts).

The next civilization (Hoodese: zivilaxizzle) to emerge was that of the Egyptians, this empire was run by gods who held what was best for the Egyptian citizens as their highest regard. To this effect they instigated public employment initiatives (see: Pyramid building) and gave every citizen a pet Jew. This was until Moses took them to the holy land, but the god kings were totally cool with that.

A couple of other empires happened but these, according to the Guber-Hackhard Synthesis on Civilisation are not cool enough to mention, and were thus removed from history.

The first religion to emmerge in the region was pagan worship and fallos idolatry. People enjoyed this as was easy and didn't require giving people presents.

After this came Nu Rave which contary to popular belief is the most followed World Religion (closely followed by Neo-Nazism).

Next came Zoroastrianism, this religion has a cool name and may or may not worship Jeremy Paxman.

Next emmerged Dudaism, this is what all the sneaky, rich business owners worshiped because they were investing, making money and giving money to genitals. All the Zoroastrians thought they were rich and they called their God an investment. The Dewish God, to prove he was not an investment, but a God, destroyed the banks of Switzerland, England and your moms check book. The Zoroastrians then changed the transliteration system so that Dudaism would be pronounced Judaism for all eternity, and then they went off to make more money and hire mexicans to mow their lawns.

A thousandish years later, [[founded Cross-dressing. Cross-chanism has been accurately described as "Marxism in sandles" by Oscar Wilde, and became incredibly popular. Curiously, Wilde seems not to have realized that Jesus was, in fact, a tremendous enemy of Karl Marx; at one point, they engaged in a debateen brawl in a London alley. Jesus, in a move widely considered to be selling out by his followers, left the Middle East to become president of America in 71AJ.

According to Theologians, a passage in the bible states that the Apocalypse will be brought about after there is 'peace in the middle East', leading many to the conclusion that it is in their interests to prolong conflict in the area although even without intervention from the West the Apocalypse could well be prolonged by at least several thousand years.

[edit] The Middle East Today

“I visit it regularly, often in shorts.”

~ That Guy on the middle east

Ariel Sharon, supreme emperor of Israel.

Until recently, most of the Middle East is ruled with a velvet-gloved iron-fist(ing) by the emperor of Israel, Ariel Sharon, the man who put all the oil under the region, and subsequently made it so wealthy. However, Sharon has since been incapitated after falling into a comma and a bitter power struggle has grasped the region. Forerunners in the struggle include Charles Clarke and Robocop, however, it is likely the position shall go to Israeli Defence Minister Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who faces unflinching popular support due to his Weird Face policies.

One region not under Israeli control is Iraq (Iraqinistan: lit. home of the spider-people), since 2003, this country has voluntarily served as a holiday destination for the American and British armed forces, complete with authentic iraqi hole-in-the-ground toilets and a regular explosive firework show every night which features flying limbs and real blood.

Recently, the Middle East has been under complete military control of the Grand Armed Forces of Buffalo. The President of Buffalo has promised that order will be returned to the area by the beginning of the Sabres 2007-08 season.

[edit] In Conclusion

The is coming to a holo-theatre near you this Dodecember!!!

[edit] See also

[[Image:Middle East.jpg|thumb|right|This is a satellite photo of the Middle East, taken from the Google Earth software. Note the green color of Iraqinistan (Mesopotamia).