Midwest Police
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The Midwest Police, or MP, were created by U.S. President Ronald Reagan in 1983 to enforce Operation Flyover-Land, a plan to populate the newly-discovered Midwest.
Like many secret polices, the Midwest Police are not formally recognized by the government. When asked about it in 1991, President George H.W. Bush responded "Midwest Police? Never heard of it. It is definitely not a secret police to enforce Reagan's Operation Flyover-Land, and if it were, I would know about it." Bush then strolled away, whistling nonchalantly.
While the methods of the Midwest Police are unknown, many believe Erik Estrada has something to do with it.
Contents |
[edit] History
[edit] The Beginning
The Midwest Police started two years after Operation Flyover-Land was created. It was first proposed by Henry Kissinger in 1982 when he noticed the convicts they had exiled to Midwestern states were walking over the border to the not Midwest. He thought that was totally lame, them not taking their punishment like men. He raised this issue with President Reagan, but Reagan was too busy writing Red Dawn at the time. He did get around to it in good time, though.
[edit] The Thing After The Beginning...Not The Middle, Because That Suggests An End
And did he get around to it. Reagan told the same scientists who later created the Star Wars Missile Defence System to make a bunch of cyborgs for the MP. They were origionally steam-powered, but Reagan decided to try out this new-fangled contraption named electricity. Reagan also decided to give an MP man an outwardly Hispanic appearance, in order to better blend in with the Midwestern populace. These cyborgs were then disperced throughout the Midwest, except the Dakotas, as that was torture even to an emotionless machine. While the MP did help decrease the number of escaped convicts, the number was still mu.
[edit] The Gary, Indiana Wall
Then Vice President George H.W. Bush said to President Reagan, "You know, seems a lot of our convicts are escaping the Midwest from Chicago to Gary, Indiana. Seems like we should build a wall there." And so they did. Building of the Gary, Indiana Wall began in March of 1985, and was completed in August of that year. Reagan made sure himself that nobody was ever going to cross the wall. He lined the wall with land mines. He had heat-seeking rusty nails installed. He even tried to build the wall to the heavens, but that was ended when God made all the workers speak in Oscar Wilde Quotes. The wall proved effective as escapes were reduced to one, with the only escape being preformed by Danny Way in 2006.


