Military Intelligence

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This missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference, or deviation... and so on.
This missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference, or deviation... and so on.

Two words combined that can't make sense.

~ Dave Mustaine on military intelligence

Military intelligence is mastery of military tactics and strategery, and can be quantified by a measure called MIQ, or Military Intelligence Quotient. MIQ is defined as 200 minus the intelligence quotient (IQ); a person with a high IQ has a low MIQ and vice versa. As a result, the Commander in Chief will usually have a lower IQ than anybody else in the military, and sometimes the entire country.

Common ways of increasing one's military intelligence are not studying in school, repeatedly banging one's head against the wall, and, of course, reading Conservapedia for extended periods of time.

Contents

[edit] Military intelligence

The military has many secret devices that are unusable by everyday people.
The military has many secret devices that are unusable by everyday people.

Military intelligence is the process of using processed information to perform a standardised task or condition in which a target objective is reached and then completed. It requires basic understanding of the way things work.

The public is meant to be fully aware of this data as soon as it is discovered, and avid news people will send this information over worldwide radio, television, the Internet, and even write detailed thesis reports as soon as the information is known. This helps to educate those who were not informed of such knowledge, now already common, because they shamefully neglected to turn on their TV in the morning.

You can usually spot an MI employee by the 50 extra pounds in the ass area, pretentious conversations, or generally unhealthy, unkempt appearence. Military Intelligence "proffesionals" have been known to play games like World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons, or various other games designed for nerds.

The most obvious example of Military Intelligence is the belief held by the Military that guns are an effective solution to all the world's problems, not realising that guns don't kill people; Magic Missiles do.

[edit] Military Intelligence Training

The United States posesses the sleekest, most advanced training program for war in the middle-east. No, not Oscar Wilde, but Grand Theft Auto. This is the program, founded by the United States government, shows exactly the soldiers mission in Iraq. Blowing. People. Up. The average person has the capability to do this, but has an Intelligence Quotient of over 80, so lacks the Military Intelligence Quotient necessary to wage war in Iraq.

The rest of the world's oppressive, horrible governments (you know, the ones who hate freedom and our way of life) have tried banning this game, hoping their peasants don't pick this game up, use their uneducated and illiterate European minds to decrease their Intelligence Quotient, and through transitive property, increasing their Military Intelligence Quotient. They are WRONG! Such governments have utilized the United States Military Intelligence, and established fine government establishments, such as:


[edit] People known for high military intelligence

The press gathers and relays the most up to date information.
The press gathers and relays the most up to date information.

[edit] Notes

  1. Chuck Norris breaks the laws of mathematics by simultaneously possessing a high IQ and MIQ.
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