Rich people

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Typical Rich People

“I'm not rich, I just have great mountains of cash in my livingroom that I like to play in. Remember that show Duck Tales anyone? It came out a few years after I died.”

~ J.P. Morgan on Rich people

“My ultimate goal as a socialist revolutionary was to have my face plastered on the t-shirts of rich white kids.”

~ Che Guevara on Rich people

“A rich person is defined as anyone who makes more than minimum wage. Unless they're me.”

~ A liberal on rich people

“GOD DAMN RICH CUNT! I KILL RICH CUNTS!”

~ Jeff Goldblum on Rich Cunts

“FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!”

~ Karl Marx on Rich people

Rich people in short are people who are high in essential nutrients, Mostly Fiber and Vitamin D. Rich People mainly come in the form of Heiresses, Cowboys and Astronauts.

[edit] How to identify rich people

Wears a Hat (the larger the richer).

1. Frequent comments of you or your actions temperature.
2. A vocabulary of only 500 words or less.
3. Take a bite out of their leg or arm and and it will taste like a mixture of gin tabasco sauce and dog hair
4. Has a hat the larger the richer.
5. If a giant turd in a glass display case is placed upon their mantle in their pristine fireplaces.
6. If a person falls into any of these categories they are rich in nutrients.

[edit] How to identify an un-rich person

A typical un-rich person

1. Frequently urinates in a toilet not made out of gold.
2. Eats only three times a day.
3. Can distinguish a man from a woman.
4. They don't fuck their mothers... well, not too often anyways.
5. They have minimal rights

[edit] How to ingest

The most important step is to sever the subjects head if this step isn't preformed you may be eaten by the eyes of the rich person and become a new host body for the rich person. After the head is severed feed the head to a hobo. Then eat the body whole NO CHEWING!

That will release fungus spores from within the subjects stomach mainly shroom spores. After that you will have had five weeks worth of Fiber and Vitamin D.

Eating people is discouraged in most countries and will probably result in your friends (assuming you have any) rejecting you.

But hey! Think of the benefits Five weeks of not having to eat fiber, making your bowels very happy, and you will receive five weeks

of vitamin D meaning you won't have to go outside for five whole weeks. (you mainly get vitamin D from the suns UV rays and moldy tacos)

The most valuable form of rich people is known as the "Hilton". If one was able to catch the "Hilton", and successfully digest it, they would be rewarded with an eternal life and ultimate invincibilty. But Beware! There are many imposter Hiltons! If one of these are eaten, you get magically reincarnated into a glass of Kool-Aid, favored drink of Niggers, who are understandably not rich. But the best catch of all Hiltons is the Paris! (See Paris Hilton) When you catch a Paris, you are only guaranteed Eternal Life and Super Powers if you go out and eat a shark immediately after eating the Paris. If this is not completed, you will become anorexic, and die in 7 days.