Mind-control squid

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“The mind control squid is not real. Go back to your homes. There is nothing to see here.”

~ The Feds on Mind-Control Squid

Mind-Control Squid are robotic devices that look suspiciously like crabs, hence the name, used by large companies in order to take control of the minds of celebrities. The squid is usually invisible, although several cases have been documented where Mind-Control Squids have been seen in public, the most notable of these being the spotting of Bernie Mac's, which resides openly on top of his head.

[edit] History

Mind-Control Squid were actually invented by Disney. Walt Disney, in fact, was the key member on the team which developed it. It was a massive success, leading to the creation of the Mickey Mouse Club. It is still in use today, although the mind-controlling powers have upgraded so that they can be broadcast via Television, the most notable of these being That's So Raven.

[edit] Famous Cases

The most famous case of an escape from Mind-Control Squid is the story of Kurt Cobain, who shot himself after figuring out that Mind-Control Squid had led to the birth of Nirvana, which was planned by MTV as part of their plot to destroy Rock. There has been only one documented case of someone resisting Mind-Control Squid, and that is Chuck Norris, simply by existing. At times, a host is found to be completely and utterly useless to the cause, therefore resulting in the withdrawal of the Squid. This is rare, but not too rare.

Amongst the people who are currently under the Mind-Control squid are:

Amongst the people who have broken free of the Mind-Control squid:

Kurt Cobain
On a special note, Chuck Norris is the only person proven to be 120% immune to the Mind-Control Squid
Anna Nicole Smith, though it's only because she died.

Amongst the people who the Mind-Control Squid rejected: