Minja

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They are down there, and they are deadly.

~ Ninja on Minjas

I'd rather like to spoon with the chap, but he was too short and far too violent for my taste.

~ Oscar Wilde on Minja

[edit] Introduction

A subgroup of ninja, a Minja, or Midget Ninja, are a force to be reckoned with. Masters of speed, and stealth, they specialize in killing 8th graders. Small and powerful, much like a urinal cake. Yes i agree

A Minja, disquised as Emmanuel Lewis.
A Minja, disquised as Emmanuel Lewis.

[edit] Misconceptions about Minja

They are cute, therefore you should pick it up.

No. Picking up a Minja will lead to your death. Well, a slower more painful death.

They are small, so they're harmless.

Wrong. Remember Austin Powers: The spy who shagged me? Verne Troyer, a well known Minja, fought Austin Powers in one scene. In that scene, to keep it fair, Verne was limited to using .000001% of his fighting capability. Imagine if he had used even 1%.

At least it will be a quick death.

Yes. If you don't pick a minja up. If you do, prepare to feel some pain.

Someone'll be able to save me.

The entire Chinese military couldn't save you now. Just accept it. You're going to die.

Again...they're small. They have less skill then a regular ninja.

No. Again, that's just an ignorant statement. If anything, Minja have more skill then regular ninja. They use nothing but top shelf ninja technique, and as a bonus, they can hide in places normal sized ninja couldn't even imagine. Also, they can throw shuriken, and then jump on it, therefore, stabbing you in the neck with the shuriken, and punching you in the temple.

[edit] Finalities

If you see a Minja, that Minja isn't after you. You'll never see your killer.

If you catch news that a Minja is coming to kill you, take the next 3 seconds to tell your loved ones goodbye.

If you see a Minja slay someone, calmly wait for him to go about his business. Interfering is a mistake.

Places to keep watch for Minja: Empty Soda Cans, Plastic Bags, any container bigger than your thumb, cups, shadows, below your line of vision, light fixtures, shoes, etc. Keep in mind that, even though you may be ever vigilant, you will not see the Minja who will slay you.

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