Misty
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“SHE'S replacing ME?!!!”
~ Misty on May the manic depressive
“Misty is just too expensive for me. I mean, she always demands a bike.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Misty
“Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree”
~ Erroll Garner
Misty (born ca. 1982) was a was a fat, yet perpetually flat chested actress on the hit reality show Pokemon. She was the fangirl for 27 million 8 year old boys, and got the majority of them addicted to Uncyclopedia, Pokemon, and Bananas.
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[edit] Biography
Misty was born to Heidi Klum and one of the fellows who unloaded on her in Cerulean City, a large housing division of Bradenton, Florida, during the Nintendo Revolution. Due to the hostile, confusing, and somewhat disturbing environment, Misty had to do whatever she could to survive. At the age of 3, her parents were killed in a drive-by, and Misty was left to fend for herself. She killed a boy at age four, and realized how much fun a bike really is. Her father was recently discovered to be Trent Reznor, which explains why she's such a bitch.
After that, Misty began to fight a life-long battle against the addiction of bikes, a battle which she continues to fight today. It is estimated that Misty owns hundreds of thousands of individual bikes, most which she stole. Her acting career, which will be covered later, began in 1997, when she was 15, and ended in 2007, when she was found to be Vanessa Hudgens's twin sister and did the exact same shit, only with Phil Anselmo.
Misty, during and after her career, participated in many jobs/side jobs. These activities included, but weren't limited to:
- Murder
- Whoring
- Theft
- Whoring
- Drug dealing
- Porn Star
- Several Odd Jobs (None of which were legal)
- Whoring
- Becoming a Politician.(see above)
- Pokémon Rapist
- and more Whoring
- Oh yeah, and she participated in a breeding and research program that bred humans to pokemon and see what the offsprings would look like.
...and so on. We can't even know about the above porno flicks, mostly because THEY'RE FRICKING CARTOONS! For Pete's sake, she's fictional! Why the hell would you want to hear about her fricking biography! Just scroll down to the next portionThere are so many of them. She is a very real person, and you better watch out she might just show up at your door to steal your bike. And your virginity.
[edit] Acting Career
During the Original Pokemon series, many recall that Misty appeared with a bike, and that annoying Ash kid jacked it. This was unscripted, like most of the reality show, but the producers loved having a hot little eleven year old to keep Ash company. They gave Misty directions to Ash's home, hoping a fling would start up. Ash didn't really like the idea of having a girl in the show, but he was getting paid too much to object.
Misty and Ash eventually found Brock, the only black person in the show. He was something of an over-sexed womanizer, but no one ever found him attractive, possibly because of an ability to cook, and the odd habit of wearing aprons. He was seventeen when he was discovered, making him 8 years older than Ash. However, he never tried to seduce Misty. Brock did try to seduce every OTHER female on the show. Maybe it was her suspenders...
Misty followed Brock and Ash for several years. Some people ask why she did not seduce them, but there was one main reason for it: Misty fell in love with Togepi.
An egg that the threesome found hatched into Togepi, and declared Misty its mother. It is unknown what happened between them, but Misty is often not present during night scenes, indicating some possible unusual activity between pokemon and some other job. Also, being on TV gave her enough money to fuel her bike addiction.
Unfortunately, Misty was fired partway into season 5. Topepi left her after an evolution to Togetic, and went for its fellow Togepi's. Misty, unsatisfied, brutally raped Ash in the middle of the night, and was fired for violating the show's permit. This proves that Brock is bisexual. We already knew that Ash was gay (well, he was until Dawn showed up).
Misty was removed in a fancy episode, and was replaced by May.
Due to her popularity, she makes many guest appearances in seasons 6, 8, and three episodes in season 9. In one of those 3, she strips her clothes, showing that she had no boobs. This either means she is much younger than she seems, which is unlikely as she has done some whoring AND has raped Ash(several times), or she's not a girl!(which also seems unlikely, for the same reasons.) Or, she's a mutated human(probably she was mixed with a pokèmon during her research)It was said that she will make a return in season 10 (Pearl and Diamond), which is still being released, one episode at a time. However, she didn't make it because Dawn did. Misty, according to rumors, may re-enter the current Diamond & Pearl saga as a main character.
Basically, she has no acting career because she's not an actress.
[edit] Misty's Love Interest
After a long battle with Team Rocket for the egg, Misty beat Ash out of the way, and got Topepi to look at her first. Tokepi, being a baby, followed her around, forcing Misty to take care of it.
Since Misty doesn't let anyone look at it closely, we must assume that there was something unusual about the pair. As it was stated before, they are often gone in night shoots. Some argue that this is because Misty is a girl, and must sleep separately than the guys so that the TV show's permit isn't broken. But we know otherwise...ever noticed how her hair is always messed up ? that's cuz of ... well ... yea.Pikachu ignores hearing loud noises at night ...
Misty's Sisters have reported to the National Muthafuckin' Enquirer that Misty is secretly bisexual. Misty has since, however, diproven this. Misty actually had a CRUSH on Ash. So much so that she drugged him and had sex with him while he was passed out , there after she also had sex with pikachu and forced him to " pay for the bike " he messed up.
Also, when Ash started dating May, she kidnaped them both, killed May, raped Ash violently, despite his cries for forgiveness, and used a hypno machine to make evryone forget about May(the reason there is no article about her here).
[edit] Feelings on Ash's Death
Misty could not be contacted for comment on the death of Ash, though eyewitnesses reported that Misty was lying naked in her garage when she heard the news, and that she squinted up into the sunlight, said "Wha...?", and vomited up several ounces of aluminum shavings from a bicycle frame, which were promptly collected by MacGyver for use in creating thermite. Misty has also filed a lawsuit against Ash's hot mom regarding the ownership of Ash's bike (although everyone knows it's because Ash's mom stuck a bike in her ass. Misty said she wanted TWO bikes in her ass, not one. Ash's mother refused, so Misty sued her. Then she went for "a bike ride.")
[edit] Current Residence
Misty, while sleeping with her hoard of bikes, works at the Cerulean Gym as a gym leader. The Cerulean Gym is located near the Manatee County Civic Center. It is currently on of the easiest badge to get in the entire league. You just need a bike...
[edit] Donate to Help Misty
If you wish to help this poor ex-actress, help her get into rehab, please! She hasn't gotten too much money to get into a rehab clinic and she has been planning to go into one...SOON!(actually,shes just gonna steal more bikes...)
[edit] Famous Misty Quotes
“Hey big boy, got a bike?”
~ Misty on seduction
“GET OFF THE BIKE!”
~ Misty on Grand Theft Auto
“That guy is way sexier than Oscar Wilde.”
~ Misty on how I am so hot
“"I'm getting married to phyDICK, not you!!”
~ Misty on ash
“"Nigga stole my bike!”
~ Misty on that black dude
[edit] See Also:
| |
| Pokémon: | Electrode - Grue - Hyundai - Jigglypuff - Ling-Ling - Meowth - Mewtwo - Mudkip - Pichu - Pikachu - Prophet polywag - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Whangdoodle - Wobbuffet - Togepi - Pikachu (Ash) - Piplup - Manaphy - Torchic - Mew - Yoshi |
| People: | Ash - Ash Rectum - Team Rocket - Misty - Brock - Professor Oak - Nurse Joy - May (Pokemon) - Max (Pokemon) - Officer Jenny - Pokemon Kid - Eric Dickerson - Dawn |
| Other: | Pikachu seizure - Pikachusetts - Pokémon Battles - Pokémon (The Funny Version) - Windows FireRed/LeafGreen - Anime series - PokeBitches - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - Pokemon (Show) - List of Pokémon - UnNews - Christian Symbology - FCC censorship |
