Mandingo
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“A Mandingo ate my baby!”
~ A Hollywood accent coach on Mandingos
The Mandingo is one fine looking creature, put on earth to serve the needs of woman and scare the shit out of white men.
[edit] History
Mandingo's are the product of repeated couplings of Mandinka and big black men from Africa. Mandingo's are endowed with many talents, one of which is the ability to make the white man jealous and the white woman wanton!!!
Mandingo's were prized as Slaves. Slave owners understood the brute force of their strength. Slave owner's wives understood that these men were better equipped to do the jobs that needed to be done. Husbands of such whores learned to just discard them and let them reap what they had sewn, letting them live as the crack whores they wish they were, in the dirty ghettos with the mandingos. Southern romance writers understood that when you mixed a Mandingo with an oversexed wife on a steamy bayou, it equals big BIG book sales and hefty movie rights as well.
As of lately Mandingo's are spreading all over the world. A rare breed has been spotted on the Caribbean, specially on the island of Puerto Rico. These have all the characteristics of regular Mandingo's but are known to be ferocious carnivorous. They are highly educated on the art of mechanics but are known to be jack of all trades. They are not materialist, in the sense that they don't accept money for their work, instead they charge with meat.
Caribbean Mandingo's are often compared with Chupacabras in the sense that they can appear and leave people talking about them for a while then dissappaer until everything settles, waiting for their prey to mention his name three times so they can appear like Beetlejuice.
[edit] Appearance
Mandingos
- look like men
- walk like men
- quack like men
So they must be men.
Some of the more popular Mandingo activities include looking hot, looking sexy and looking hot and sexy. When they are looking hot and sexy, they are threatening the white man who can not measure up to the Mandingo standard. At least they can't without a strap-on. All of this is, in all actuality, highly irrelevant to the white man, who simply allows it to appear that he cares about such trivial matters. If he is inconvenienced by said mandingo's, he simply finds the business that they run, and purchases and sells it five times over before having it liquidated. The mandingo's, all very aware that their children work for minimum wage in the fast food chain restaurant that the white man owns, wishes to high heaven that a big dick equals brains and money. It doesn't, so he stays in the ghetto, convinced that the white man, and not his own moronic actions and decisions, keep him right where he is.
