Mom

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Mom needs her beauty sleep.

“Your mom is so fat, I fear she might eat me!”

~ a retarded 8 year old

“Your mom is so stupid that she starved in a supermarket, thus raising the human's average IQ!”

~ Wilbur Valderama on attempting a Your mom joke

	The word "mom" came from Americans and their lack of writing ability crossed with their silly accents. "Mom" came from the 1600s or whenever it was God jokingly invented America, not realising the hit it would become (much like the crazy frog), after an American, already having abused "AluminIum" and "Biscuits", among other things, picked up a pen and tried to convey is stupid accent on paper. Well, carry on with your "mom" exploits and adventures then, you bastards. I'm not going to ruin your fun any longer. Fucking yanks.
—Some pretentious limey, passed out in front of the bus stop

[edit] Your Mom

Often accused of engaging in sexual intercourse with your best friend, brother, father, cousin, parole officer, reverend etc. by your best friend, brother, father, cousin, parole officer, reverend, Your Mom has a promiscuous reputation.

In other words, your mom is a slut.

But your mom is also guilty of other politically incorrect sins, including:

Being so Gastronomically Challenged (Fat)
Being so Mentally Unsuperior (Stupid)
Being so Attractivley Deficted (Ugly)
Being so Financially Inadequate (Poor)
Being so Blatantly Diseased

Born sometime long before you were (except in Alabama, where you can be twins!), Mom is often compared to Dad because they both make the same noise when "wrestling" in bed. Mom often smells nice and is quite often pretty. Excluding crack babies, most children appreciate moms for bringing them into this world. Mom's cooking tends to be the best in the world, but men should never tell their wives that, or they just might be eating their mom's food a lot more often.

The death of a mother can be sad. Many compare it to a setting sun, but I've never heard the sun screaming in pain and begging me to pull to the plug when it is setting.