Monster.commies
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The Monster.commies, occasionally written Monster dot commies, is the decade from 2000-2009.
[edit] Origins
Following the critical acclaim of the 60s, 70s, and 90s, the 21st century was initially shaping up to be a rather disappointing era. Rather than the Rock and Roll, Classic Rock, and Grunge Rock that had marked previous decades, the period from 2000 onward was generally defined by terrorism, war, and the impending doom of the planet. Everyone agreed that there was a problem: this decade needed a name.
It was felt that only named decades were capable of establishing the dynamic zeitgeist necessary to attract the top talent. While a morbid few were willing to have their life's work flourish in the "Post 9-11 era", it was generally accepted that most artists, musicians, and tabloid celebrities were saving themselves for the "Twenty-teens".
Thus, in this period of grey despair, was launched the Campaign to Name the Decade. Initially started by a small group of devoted Carmelite nuns, the idea soon caught fire, and you couldn't walk down the street without seeing people cheerfully arguing over whether the "Noughties" or the "Double O's" was the better name. Soon, the violence escalated, with an estimate zero deaths attributed to the ensuing conflicts.
Ultimately, the peoples' choice began to emerge. The 00s, pronounced "ooze", perfectly captured the freedom and optimism of the times. Having submitted a petition to the United Nations International Dates and Measures Council containing over four billions signatures, the world held its breath in anticipation. Then, the announcement came: the naming rights to the decade had been sold to Monster.com for $1.7 million dollars. While an inevitable period of disappointment followed, most eventual agreed that a name which referenced monsters and involved selling out was pretty much bang on.
[edit] Criticism
Naturally, the selling of the naming rights to a corporation was not without criticism, primarily from staunch anti-communist Jenny McCarthy. During her famous Senate hearings into whether "the Reds" had been behind orchestrating a decade name that included "commies", she was famously asked "Have you no decency, ma'am?", to which she calmly replied by flashing her breasts.
