Moravistan

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Morava (in Morava morava or Morava) is the eastern part of Czech Republic (or Cajzl Republic, as the Moravaci love to call it). It's capital is Brno (in full name Brno, buzerantů plno or Brno, poslední obydlená zatáčka před Vídní - the last inhabited curve before Vienna).

[edit] History

A long time ago, there was the Great-Moravistan Empire, but somehow it fell because it was unable to restist the Mongols and Muslims from the south and the east. So then Ottomaniac Empire came to power, and built mosques all over the country. The only one remaining minaret is now in Lednice - Cajzls banned them. Because of great poverty in the region in the 19th century (no trains, only horses), the Moravistani agreed to join Cajzlov and Slovakia, forming Cajzlslovakia. Islam is still present here (a new mosque was opened in Brno).

[edit] Economy

All Moravistanis are known because of wine (which was brought by Muslims from the south) and producing Šalinas in Šalinograd (or Štalinograd till 1990). Also, they are good in textile industry. Many households (the only factory in the coutry produces Šalinas) produce Ham and rohlikos, exporting them to U.S..

Also, the Moravistanis are very famous for their extremely alcoholic beverage Slivovice. No-one really knows what goes into this drink, as it is made in secrecy, deep in the caves of the Moravistani Mountains (the other end of which, is said, to lead to Middle Earth and where it is believed that Osama Bin-Laden is currently hiding). But it is rumored that the makers have actually achieved to make the drink 101% alcohol, and only a true Moravistani is able to drink it. Many foreigners have died trying to down a shot of Slivovice. In fact, the only foreigner who's ever survived drinking a shot of Slivovice is Henri Paul, who then 2 hours later flew to Paris and was chosen as the driver for Princess Diana's Škoda Octavia. Unfortunately, the Slivovice caught up with him in the end and he crashed the car into the 66th pillar of the Pont de l'Alma tunnel in Paris, killing everyone in the car, including Diana, whom he was transporting to the French President Putin's funeral.)

[edit] Statistics

• Population - classified
• Territory - unexplored, only small part has been discovered so far
• Literacy - 8% (containing imams)
• Highest peak - Pradědnica
• Longest river - Moravistaniča
• Language - Moravistani, Arabian (locally also some dialects of Czech; Polish in the north)
• Average income per capita - USD 300 in central Brno, USD 30 in the country nobody knows
• Current governor (vilajetčik) : Muhammad Ali-Al Mirnić Hasan
• Televisions - only in mattrasses
• Radios - rarely seen in Moravistani households
• Trams - none, only Šalinas
• Telephones - concept unknown

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