More Than Words
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“Ah, language. So useful, so boundless. It is so advanced and complex, yet the fact that it is constrained to humanity's thoughts and speech is quite a paradoxical juxtaposition. And I think that was totally what Extreme was trying to say with that fucking ballin' ass tune. ”
~ William Blake on More Than Words
[edit] History
In 1985, before I placed a bet with the Manic Street Preachers and lied, More Than Words was elected the bestest song of all time by the United Nations Fund for Election of Bestest Things (UNIVAC).
[edit] Authors
More than Words was a collaboration between then-Van Halen singer Gary Cherone and Population 1 lead guitarist, Nuno Bettencourt, who never met before, wrote the song, and have never talked again since, though occasionally they debate royalties through their laywers. The marriage of Prince Charles with Camilla Parker-Bowles was one of these occasions.
[edit] Awards
To this day, the song has received only one award: "Best Song Of All Time" from UNIVAC, the United Nations board especially formed for this award. The criteria used by the board were:
- Relative increase in the probability of scoring a chick through the use of the song
- Likeliness of scoring chicks by playing the song half-decently on acoustic guitar
- Effectiveness of the use of the song in a car CD player to set a mood for scoring a chick
- Absolute increase in the probability of scoring a chick through the use of the song
After thorough calculations performed by UNIVAC, it was realized that More Than Words is the bestest song ever. Songwriters all over the world reacted in rage, but there was nothing they could argue against scientific fact.
