Mother Nature
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“I hate that bitch. From the first time she refused to let me buy her a drink to when she destroyed Montana with the Mt. St. Helens eruption, she's always been a crazy bitch. God I want her.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Mother Nature
“Does this shit look motherly to you?”
“What the fuck is Mother Nature?.”
~ Nick Who on Mother Nature
The CIAs current file on Mother Nature lists her as a 45 year old hippy living with her earthfriend Rufus in a van, presumably down by the river.
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While this may be an accurate representation of all that is evil, it should be totally underestimated.
Mother Nature's wicked agenda comes from the fact that she can only reproduce once every 10 billion years, and is totally spiteful towards anyone who can do it often, like humans and rabbits.
CIA Criminal Bio.
[edit] Mother Earth
Wanted Dead or Alive.
Mother Nature is a Terra-ist Leader who has been fighting a guerrilla war against man kind from the very start. Her tactics include everything from hit and run, lightning quick strikes, to Blitzkrieg style tsunamis. She is at times beautiful and stark-ugly, not to mention ruthless, causing Baseball games and all their overpaid juice-shooting "athletes" to end on account of rain. She made a name for herself in the 1980's with displays like Mount Saint Helens and AIDS. Since then the USA has had a 100 Million Dollar bounty on her head.
[edit] Major Appearances
- Once showed her ugly face to swallow the peace loving Egyptians who were only trying to get their slaves back, in the historical First Sea Olympics.
- "Terraformed" (her own euphemism for a terraist attack) New Orleans into No Orleans by raising the water level by five meters.
- Appeared in the form a giant wave in Thailand in the end of year 2004, resulting in the deaths of thousands of innocents.
- A known transgender individual, erected her first penis, Mt. Everest, at the spry age of 2 days old.
- Knocked over that tree in my backyard last week.
[edit] Mother Nature Is A Dirty Slut
Mother Nature often rapes small elderly people with branches crafted of stone and cyanide. It is often said that every time a bell rings, Mother Nature takes a big dump on humanity.
