Mousetrap

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A mousetrap (mus stapli carnivorea) is a carnivorous animal that primarily feeds on a diet of mice, but is also known to eat little kids, your fingers and sometimes also peanut butter. It first appeared in fossil records around 2 hundred million years ago, confirming its prehistoric existence. In recent years the mousetrap was discovered to be an offshoot of the stapler (specifically of the swingline genus) and was subsequently renamed. A terrifying creature because of its effective baiting methods, distinctive aggression and powerful bite the mousetrap is widely known as the fiercest hunter in relation to size.

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[edit] Historically

The ancient Greeks thought that crushed mice where secreted by mousetraps in order to catch cheese. Strange enough, an African tribe believed that mice secreted mousetraps which promptly crushed them, ate them, and like the beautiful butterfly, died 24hours later. These traps would then be collected, ground up, and rubbed into wounds to speed up recovery.

[edit] Primary diet

A mousetrap can and will try to eat anything it finds, including quiche; due to its lack of eyes it is fearless. The common mouse will easily sustain a mousetrap and the rarer rat also makes an excellent meal and last longer than the mouse. Unfortunately, mousetraps will often try to make a meal of other animals as well. Mousetraps have been known to aggressively hunt for cat paws, dog snouts, seagulls, fingers and and toes.

[edit] Hunting Method

A crafty mouse snags some food from a herd of hibernating 'traps.
A crafty mouse snags some food from a herd of hibernating 'traps.

The mousetrap holds the title as having what is widely regarded as one of the cleverest and most ingenious methods of hunting ever. The mousetrap naturally secretes cheese on its tongue and lays in wait for its prey to take the bait. Although simple, this has proved successful countless times. The psychology of it is that there is bright yellow cheese just sitting there all by itself, cheese being tasty is desirable it draws attention and eventually something tries to take it and eat it. Within a split second of touching or moving the cheese the mousetrap snaps its open jaws shut and captures whatever tried moving the cheese. Then the mousetrap slowly digests it's prey over a span of at least a fortnight.

[edit] Size and Distribution

Mousetraps grow typically between 3 in. to 2 ft. long and are found worldwide. Mousetraps are usually found in large dense urban areas and frequent basements, supermarkets, kitchen counters and pubs. Dark areas are natural habitats for the mousetrap but they still sometimes venture into lighter areas in search for better prey. Often a mousetrap hunts alone but they occasionally hunt in scattered groups of 3-4 mousetraps for better hunting success. The largest mousetrap ever recorded is a 6 1/2 ft. monster known as Victor.

Victor the Mousetrap seen here sedated and on public display.
Victor the Mousetrap seen here sedated and on public display.

[edit] Victor

Victor is a 124 year-old 6 1/2 ft. tall mousetrap discovered in 1987 in a basement floor at Thomas' English Muffin factory headquarters. Upon his discovery by people who cared he was tranquilized and brought in for study. 516 lbs. was the recorded weight when put on a scale. Testing showed that Victor was feeding on a steady diet of janitors and health inspectors that got hungry and lost their bagged lunches. Victor was producing the Jarlsberg cheese, which is the largest and tastiest of the 12 Fundamental Cheeses. This was a major surprise to scientists, as it was thought that mousetraps only produced cheddar cheese to lure it's victims. Victor was eventually released into Africa, where he dines on lions, oxen, bears and the local natives.

[edit] The Mouse Hunt Incident

During the filming of the Disney documentary Mouse Hunt, hundreds of mousetraps were taken from their natural habitats and strewn together in a brightly lit room for the purpose of getting rid of a single mouse. Disgruntled and angered about the sudden movement the mousetraps attacked the two stars of the film. Disney immediately stepped in and came on every mousetrap, leading to an outrage and the eventual deaths of anybody involved in the slaughter.

[edit] See also

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