Mr. Bean
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“Teddy!”
~ Mr. Bean on Teddy
Mr. Bean is hailed as the original prototype Reality TV game show. Running from 1990 to 1995, Mr. Bean followed the eponymous star's every movement with the use of covert cameras, endlessly creating various traps and pitfalls for Mr. Bean to walk headlong into.
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[edit] Conception
In the summer of 1989 the BBC wrote to the Head of Light Entertainment with an idea to create a program that followed the life of an ordinary man subjected to extraordinary things. Understandably, the Head of Light Entertainment replied to their requests with a cry of "Bollocks!", and so the script writers went to ITV instead.
At the time, ITV were in trouble in the Saturday Ratings War. The BBC had just started a new program, Noel's Torture Party, where Noel Edmonds would subject celebrities of the day to such entertaining tortures as "The Rack", "The Iron Maiden" and "The Pit Of Molten Lava". Viewers were switching on in their millions to see which minor celebrity would get horribly disfigured this week, leaving ITV's flagship show, Michael Barrymore's I'm So Rich And You're Not So Nyah with ratings in the tens. In short, ITV were desperate for a breakthrough.
The script writers idea, at this time codenamed "Ha Ha Ha, Look At That Prat Fall Over", was quickly snapped up by ITV, and auditions for the main star began over the winter of 1989. Soon enough, they had found their perfect star in Mr. Bean
His balls were mighty.
[edit] Mr. Bean
Mr. Bean, full name Quentin Tarquin Bean, was born in Shellow Bowells, Essex, in 1958. At the time of the audition, he was living in a bedsit in Kent, and was working as a chicken sexer at a nearby farm.
He was not immediately arresting to the eye, being of average build and stature. However, his personality was what drew him to the director's eyes. He was extremely quiet, and would do anything that was asked of him with only mild mutters of annoyance, even if he knew he was likely to screw it up. Indeed, the more annoyed he was, the more likely he was to screw up - something that the director was looking for, as he knew that Bean was going to get annoyed very often. He also had his own catchphrase of sorts - "I'll get you back for that, you pesky rabbit!" - which he would say when something went disastrously wrong.
The production team signed Mr. Bean almost immediately, without giving him any clue as to what the TV show would entail. He still doesn't know they are filming him.
[edit] The TV Show
The first series of Mr. Bean began in May, 1990. In the very first episode, Mr. Bean was told to go into his shed and get a pot plant. He managed to do this, but not before being hit on the head with a shovel, annoying some very angry wasps, spraying his face with weed killer, almost losing a finger (and actually losing his wallet) to an extremely large Venus Fly Trap, and making the shed implode via a mysterious matter-antimatter reaction.
The program was an immediate hit, and started drawing viewers from the BBC and Noel Edmond's evil clasp by the thousands. By the end of the series (which involved an incident involving Mr. Bean, a tub of ice cream, seven pairs of roller skates and the whole population of Luxembourg) they had won the war, and the BBC were forced to show old Carry On films such as Carry On Gynaecologist and Carry On Into Eating Your Relatives.
However, it can be argued that the show is funny. That's because most adults of his age and IQ usually sit at home, writing Wikipedia articles.
[edit] Notable scenes
Many moments from Mr. Bean have become engraved upon the British national psyche, such as:
- Mr. Bean falling down a disused mineshaft (series 1)
- Mr. Bean getting electrocuted by a toaster (series 2)
- Mr. Bean accidentally appearing naked during a Royal Shakespeare Company performance of "Othello" (series 2 and 3)
- Mr. Bean choking on a toy soldier found in his cornflakes (series 1, 2, 3 and 4 - each time, the soldier got bigger, by series 4 it was a G.I. Joe, and in series 5 it was a life-size model of Richard Hammond)
- Mr. Bean getting washed out to sea after attempting to surf on an ironing board (series 3)
- Mr. Bean swearing profusely in the presence of the Queen (series 2, 4 and 5)
- Mr. Bean being chased by a giant white balloon around Portmeirion (series 5)
- Mr. Bean in a greeting line with his finger stuck through his fly, and head-butting the Queen-mum.
- Mr Bean accidentally pushing a pilot out the cockpit window then being forced to fly the 22 hour Heathrow to Melbourne trip himself with teddy as co-pilot (series 2, deleted scene)
- Mr. Bean detonating an atomic bomb over North Korea, only to find out it was aimed over France (Series 32, to be continued in Series 33)
- Mr. Bean crushing a bungalow with his Mini.
- Mr. Bean blowing up a branch of Tescos using only some Bicarbonate of Soda, a box of Matches and a packet of Woodbines.
- Mr. Bean deleting all of Wikipedia's content.
- Mr. Bean causing the sinking of the Titanic by kicking the side of the hull.
- Mr. Bean falling from a 300 ft. Ferris Wheel. TEDDY, HELP MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
- Mr. Bean getting blown up with some exploding carrots.
- Mr. Bean getting a job at the local steelworks and then accidentally tripping up Captain Jack from Doctor Who into a molten vat of Wrought Iron.
- Mr. Bean massacring an entire family with his friend Rupert.
- Mr. Bean leading a pogrom against the Jews (series 1, episode 6).
- Mr. Bean on crack. (all episodes)
- Mr. Bean beating the shit outa Bob Saget. (all episodes)
- Mr. Bean revealing he is a Sith Lord.
- Mr. Bean crashing his car into the Spinnaker tower, causing it to topple into the sea (series 59).
- Mr. Bean becoming a power ranger but had to be solo since no team would accept him not even that really retarded one. you know the one i mean. no? well fuck you not my fault your a dumbass.
- Mr. Bean raping Simon Cowell. (series 1, 2, 3 and 15)
- Mr. Bean sniffing Oscar Wilde in public for charity (series 6)
- Mr Bean becoming a member of Torchwood. Shags every member before sex gas disintergrates his penis. (series 6-18)
[edit] End of the series
By the end of the 67th series, Mr. Bean was starting to get a bit tired. He had been blown up, shot at, cooked, fried, grilled, boiled, microwaved, burnt, electrocuted, chased, huffed, choked, beaten up, shaken, stirred, disintegrated, chopped up, eaten by a Grue catapulted, cremated, deceived, embarrassed, arrested, imprisoned, executed, disfigured, dismembered, disemboweled and beheaded too many times to mention, and to add to that he was starting to get terrible cramp in his left foot. Worst of all, he was forced to appear on Michael Parkinson's chat show. ITV agreed to let him go and do his own stuff after the 68th series had finished.
After the end of the final series, Mr. Bean tried to start up a musical career. His first album, Bean To Hell And Back, described by the NME as "pop meets ska meets morris dancing", only sold three copies - and two of those were bought by Mr. Bean himself, Allthough still managed to top the charts for 12 weeks.
Mr. Bean was last seen in panto in Morecambe, playing "Sheep #2" in Mother Goose. He described he role as being "one of the best in existence, just short of being Angelina Jolie's bra."
Tragically, Mr. Bean committed suicide by eating a whole box of Daz washing powder. He was found on the kitchen floor frothing from the mouth and bubbles coming out of his arse.
[edit] An actual script for an actual episode of Mr Bean
"Mr Bean goes to the dentist and has problems" (not to be confused with the similar script, "Mr Bean goes to the doctors and has problems")
[edit] Mr. Bean's Relatives
 Mr. Mona L. Bean |
 Mr. Osama Bean Laden |
 Mrs. Gloria "Bean" Macapagal-Arroyo |
[edit] Trivia
- The Jim Carrey film The Truman Show is believed to have been based on Mr. Bean. In fact, Jim Carrey is a clone of Mr. Bean, albeit without any of Mr. Bean's sense of humour.
- The makers of Lost, Survivor and I'm A Celebrity, Get Me On TV all cite Mr. Bean as inspiration.
- Mr. Bean was the guest referee at the 1994 F.A. Cup Final between Madchester Oasis and srerednaW notloB. Madchester Oasis went on to win 192-0.
- Mr. Bean is a lifelong supporter of Tufte, IL.
- Mr. Bean loves you.
- Mr. Bean was thinking about running his own show on PBS.
- Mr. Bean has an animation film company he works for called Bean Bag Productions, that put out such successful films as Never Talk to Strangers
- Mr. Bean is NOT edible. (O RLY?)
- Mr. Bean is also known as a Mr Steve Jewell, head teacher of a small all-boys school in the town of Worthing.
- Mr. Bean once beat Hulk Hogan for the title, only to lose it to the Ultimate Hasbean.
- Mr. Bean did have an animated series which really sucked balls, and made people shoot themselves in the head. Mr. Bean felt like shit. Lord Zedd provided the voice for Mrs.Wankitt.
