Karate Kid
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“Why did they move to California if the mother just ended up working as a waitress?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Karate Kid
The Karate Kid was an extremely popular franchise known for its ninja enthusiasm and alleged anti-American sentiments.
Produced during the height the new form of "Japanese Imperialism" in the 1980s, Karate Kid quickly spawned many commonly used American phrases, such as hasagakaki, "Yes, I will duel with you," or nanamurakimoshanashabihito-san, meaning "Mr. Miyagi battles in eight forms of ninjutsu." The movie is also marked for igniting a new found interest in Americans of the martial arts, something which scared the U.S. government in 1984.
In response to its immense popularity, the Department of Defense secretary at the time, Tim Gemulktdoon, said: "The movie is a shameless example of the Japanese revenge wished to be enacted upon the U.S. for the bombing of Hiroshima. I hereby suggest it be banned from all American television sets and theaters." Many news agencies at the time reported on a "new McCarthyism," this time referring to "Gemulktdoonism," and its subsequent paranoia of everything Asian.
After the release of Karate Kid II, Chinese tourists were beaten in the street, Vietnamese businesses were burned, and mass copies of Akira and ramen noodles were crushed with bulldozers throughout the United States. Two months after these acts, Sony relocated its businesses to Canada, and Toyota declared bankruptcy on the American stock market. Sushi restaurants and Japanese steak houses remained opened along the San Francisco Bay Area in California, however.
When asked if Timothy Gemulktdoon regretted the decision of calling Karate Kid un-American, he remarked: "Yeah, I kinda do. I watched the movies the other day and kinda liked 'em."
Aside from its alleged prejudices, Mr. Miyagi is often quoted as presenting Asian wisdom in a very white, understandable, and lovable way. One particular scene, in which Mr. Miyagi engages in anal sex with Daniel LeRusso to teach him the ways of the blossoming dirt flower, Miyagi remarks: "In, out, such is the way of life; Mr. Miyagi know tightness is sign of purity. White boy good for strong teaching."
The film series in banned in Finland, Malawi, Fiji, and the entire nation-state of Jesusland for its sometimes controversial propositions of liberty. Fans of the movies say the techniques taught in the films are the way of the future, and are often avid readers of science fiction and For Dummies books.
Early working titles for Karate Kid were Judo Jimmy, Aikido Ike, and Jujitsu Jake, but they were all thrown out of the window during a big fight at Pinewood Studios in the otherwise tranquil countryside of Merrie England.
