Mr. Peanut
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Mr. Peanut is... well, a peanut. He also goes by the name of DJ P-Salty and, for a brief time during the late 1970s served as President of the United States under his legal name Jimmy Carter. He grew up in the Southern United States where crackers cracked at him and sadistically poked his nuts for fun. Others did it for good luck and to get him to come out of his shell.
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[edit] The Early Years
Growing up in cosmopolitan Atlanta, Mr. Peanut attended the University of the South, where he was a wight shelled rapper. He, however, was terrible. At his first underground rap battle in some brokedown ghetto region in some wannabe city who thinks its Los Angeles, he rapped like Adam Copeland(known by most as the Rated R Superstar Edge) and was booed off stage. He also beaten with a taco shell with a sausage in it by some wannabe rapper after the show. While recovering in therapy after his terrible sausage-taco beating incident, he sold his soul to the Devil, who is actually Michael Moore to become ,"Talk black with a mic good!"(Side Note: That's what rap is!) He released his first record in the back of a "Snap Crack N Salty" delivery truck. The album "White Shell RED Nuts" went double platinum in '71. He is regarded as the founder of rap and also is regarded as the reason for its rise. Mr. Peanut became a money icon rivaling the Monopoly Man. However, he eventually outlasted Monopoly Man. After an interview, where Monopoly Man said that Mr. Peanut was a piece of crap and will never make it big and make something useful of his life, Monopoly Man was found dead on his living room couch with a cane stabbed through his stomach, with a broken monocle stabbed through his eye. This is regarded today as the cause of his death, even though there was a throwing star in his neck. Also, a message in his blood was found on the wall saying,"DJ-Salty Did This, All U Hatas U Stop Hatan! P.S. Mister Peanut did this!" To this day, no one knows who killed Monopoly Man, but Matt and Jeff Hardy The Hardy Boyz are on the case. Charlie Brown and Snoopy are blamed for his murder. Anyway, back on track, this made Mr. Peanut successful and helped get him nominated for the Democratic Party candidate for the office of President of the United States and made him, in his words,"Livin' Large BITCHES! HA AH AH AH HA A!!! Now get the hell out so I can smoke some crack!!!"
[edit] Presidency
Mr. Peanut won the election. He went into office with his birthname Jimmy Carter. He went down in history as the worst president EVER!!! mostly because of the fact that he sat on his ass most of the time and did nothing. He helped Iran capture U.S. Marines and they were held hostage. He was just about to sign the United States of America over to Russia, but Ronald Reagan overthrew him before this came a reality. Despite this, his rap career grew even stronger than ever.
[edit] Mr. Peanut in Concert
Mr. Peanut was putting out a great performance but as he went off stage he was attacked by Colonel Sanders who was bombarding Mr. P with popcorn chicken and old biscuts with some gravy. Mr. P was taken to the hospital and had to undergo knee surgery and a kidney bean transplant. Mr. P also lost his bottom nut when it exploded from Col. Sander's cane. Mr. P slowly recovered and had to use a cane. As he was walking out of the hospital. he was attacked by Giant Raisins weilding guitars, drum sticks, saxophones, and a harmonica. Mr. P's eye was poked out. That is why he has an eyeglass and a scar that looks like a thunderbolt on his forehead.
[edit] The Resistance
Mr. P and a west side gang of rap friends got together to form an ultimate rap gang clan called G-Nutz. The gang consited of majority of food related foods like Little Debbie, Ice Cubette, Baguette, LL Cool Tomatoe, 50 Cent Peas, Cottage Please, Leaves lettuce an Asparagus, and Snoop in da pantry. But one of the members beacme an outkast and that was LL Cool tomatoe, who called himself G-Nots to bee funny. G-Nutz eventually became the name of their elite. Mister Peanut eventually saw in the mid '80s that patriotism was on the rise. He being an ani-American and pro-communist expanded and started The Resistance to try to rebel against what he called,"the corruption of the U.S. and its government." From 1986 to 1989, it had a major following and raked in millions of millions of millions of dollars. It, eventually began to go on the decline. Then in 1989, it was only popular with the spoiled rich brats in the New England states, the ghetto ratz of Los Anglelas, and the hippies remaining in San Francisco. Despite this lack of support, it continued through til '91. It finally fell on June 17, 1991. LL Cool Tomatoe dropped out of the organization a month earlier due to the constant isolation. He informed such famous rock n' rollers as Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, The Who, Kiss, and more famous rock n' rollers of their location. They banded together and formed The Rockin' Alliance and invaded The Resistance headquarters in Los Anglelas. After the attack, The Resistance and G-Nutz finally fell. The Rockin' Alliance only sped up the fall. Many say G-Nutz and with it The Resistance would have fell on its own due to the continuing lack of support and personal differences and disputes withi G-Nutz. The biggest one was why did the group have to be called G-Nutz. The whole story is told in the dvd The Rise and Fall of The Resistance.
[edit] Death
Mr. P was found dead in the garbage on the morning of March 32, 2008- Not much is known of how it happened, but it is suspected that his life partner, George Washington Carver is the murderer because he was found with peanut butter shoved down his throat and up his bung hole.
[edit] Dj P-Saltyz Hit Songs
- "Roling on 20s"
- "Let the shells hit floor Let the shells hit the floor"
- "The Rising Cane"
- "Big shell Big Ego" - you do the geometry
- "O where O where did my liitle nuts go"
- "It's Salty not hairy"
- "The Pain Cane"
- "uhoh the shell broke!?"
