Mr Keating Goes To France

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“Keating 5? Re-elect me, I'm a fucking astronaut!”

~ John Glenn on The Keating 5 scandal.

“Heh. Where hasn't that guy gone?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Mr Keating

“Yeah...Neil Perry and Keating were totally gay together.”

~ Peter Weir

“Don't listen to Peter Weir! I hate that fucking bastard!”

~ Neil Perry on Mr Keating

“It was a love-hate relationship...yeah.”

~ Peter Weir

Mr Keating Goes To France is a low-budget sequel to acclaimed science fiction film Dead Poets Society, the movie that bored several thousand schoolchildren to tears on its first screening. In order to alleviate this, Mr Keating Goes To France basically spliced new footage of Robin Williams running around Paris stealing bicycles to flashbacks to the first movie, overdubbed by Williams in silly high voices. It was a financial failure.

[edit] Plot

Mr Keating, (played by Robin Williams) on discovering that he accidentally bought a plane ticket to France rather than herpes cream as he had intended, decides to take a holiday to France. His crazy boss Professor Dumbledore (Christopher Walken) tells him that he has a niece (Neil Perry) in France that he thinks Keating should teach poetry. Unfortunately, Keating forgets this after a bump on the head at the airport and suddenly believes that he should kill this neice. The rest of the movie is a tightly-paced psychological game of cat-and-mouse, or at least it would be if not for the constantly singing French Elvis impersonators in the background.

After Keating kills the neice, he then decides to enjoy himself by running through Paris naked. This was filmed using the controversial technique of taping a picture of Williams' head to a small girl's body and pushing her down a hill, which won an Academy Award for visual effects. Once this ten minute scene is over, the movie turns into an epic puppet show designed by Weir to extend the film for thirty minutes longer. Since the puppet show is rather limited in that both characters die within twenty minutes, the last ten minutes consist of footage of gophers mating.

[edit] Mistakes

• Gophers don't mate like that.
  • Don't ask me how I know that.
    • No, seriously, I meant it!
• Mr Keating was not Irish in the previous film.
• Elvis impersonators generally do not wear clogs. Not even French ones.
• The scene in which Keating surfs on a bicycle is physically impossible.
• Ditto the scene in the Hamburger bar.

[edit] Trivia

• Peter Weir has it legally enforced that Neil Perry have his legs broken at least once on every movie he works with Weir on. Perry only broke one leg the previous movie, so Weir is currently stalking Perry with a two-by-four.
• The only way the important actors in this film could be procured was to either get them hideously drunk or drag them out of bed at night and puppeteer them.
• Walken died before filming finished, so the additional scenes with Dumbledore were created by having Williams play the role with a blanket held over his head. This is explained in the film, however, in which Williams begins every one of Dumbledore's lines with the words 'my head is cold'.
• This was Neil Perry's last movie. He ran away to Scotland before filming was complete and lived the rest of his life as a goat.

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