Mushroom Ketchup
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Mushroom Ketchup is often depicted as a disgusting concoction of fairly bad foods, however it is infact, quite marvelous. It is often distributed in bottles that appear to contain Whiskey, and stocked in confusing amounts in all good toystores.
Mushroom Ketchup was discovered way back in 2001.7 by Michael Jackson's uncle - Wilma Flintstone. He quickly discovered it was perfect as a comedy subsitute for alcohol, and immediately started production of it in his bungalow in a small town, North East of Southwestshire. Some say it is used to brainwash people, but I've been drinking it mixed with Pepsi Cola for the past ice age, and I think that Pepsi is a much better drink than Coca Cola could ever hope to be - why don't you enjoy an ice cold can of Pesi coke - and now for a limited time only, you can get it with a flavouring that the matrix's programmers (or just The Architect - see The Man) determined to be a good taste for Lime.
Both of my friends are concerned by its lack of ingredients list, but I find it's permanent two-years-from-now expiration date provides me with all the facts I need to tell it's safe to drink. Several of my doctors have even hinted that it is a condiment - not a beverage, but they say a lot of stuff.
Personally, I would happily live on Mushroom Ketchup alone, but it contains a large number of artificial preservatives and things, and I need caffeine as well.
The taste is absolutely good. In comparison to an ice cold can of Diet Pepsi, (with it's own distinctive taste) it is much tastier. It tastes like a good drink should, all salty and rich... like a King Crab. I have often wondered if King Koopa was infact the true inventor of Mushroom Ketchup, seeing as he was the evil torturous ruler of a large number of mushroom people for a while and, he himself has the two main qualities of Mushroom Ketchup's taste; he is rich and salty (supposing he is a sea turtle Nintendo mutant).
I'm shocked Jesus chose wine over Mushroom Ketchup at The Last Supper. I'd rather be remembered as a funguy or fungi or whatever than a grape that's had some filthy little man jumping on it in order to try and kill his athlete's foot.
According to the label, Mushroom Ketchup is like a Furby; you have to keep it in a cool, dark place or it may start to reproduce, this offspring will look like the Mushroom Ketchup, but they will infact be things such as Worcestershire Sauce, and will try to take over the world. I'm guessing you must not get it wet or feed it after midnight.
