NASA
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The Nigerians are Always Sexually Active , also known as NAMBLA (National Anus Munching Beaters Legalization Association), was created in 1356. Their original goal was to munch so much Anus that they reached the moon, the reason they chose this goal was because they knew they would never reach it. Therefore throwing themselves into an eternal Ass munching frenzy. Jim in accounting didn't believe Jebbediah N, so he decided it was his life long dream to prove him otherwise.
NASA is an affiliate of THE ORGANIZATION, AKA SPECTRE run by ReichsMarshall Fuhrer Benjamin Brown!!
NASA was the first band to pioneer the emo style which propelled to such great successes that they began launching rockets into space in 1958.
Fred has no arms. He has no legs. His job is keeping astronauts safe.
NASA on employees.
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[edit] Members
- Jebbediah N
- Mark A
- Shibby S
- Toto A
- Your mom
- Saturn V
- Agent 00.07 (holds the nonfamous lowest-IQ world record of -500)
- Head of the KFC
- George Bush
Their stage names aligned make up the word, JMSTYSHGAMA, and also, NASAMVCHAMM.
[edit] Early History
After fighting Communists in the famous mission against Dr. No, these British Secret Agents returned to their homeland to turn their journal entries into songs. Their mesh of historical fact and wrist-cutting sent them to the top of the charts in a few short weeks, and their hit single, Red Like a Commie, Red Like My Neck became a nationally (and even to an extent, internationally) renowned tune. NASA originally recruited pilots from "space camps", where young children would go to laugh and pretend they were astronauts. Those who pretended the hardest became astronauts.
Things began to rock the boat a year and a half later.
[edit] The Blackstronaughts
NASA Also had an old counterpart, The Old Negro Space Program
[edit] Spiral Downwards
First, American Mafiosos from Texas took over NASA (which explains why their biggest sex businesses are in Houston). NASA began using all their money to fund private ventures--sweatshops, brothels, sweatshop brothels (an innovation Jebbediah brought), and even their much lesser-known space programs.
The better-known space programs started when two Mafiosos got drunk and played beer pong on a moll's vagina. One of them, Mo' Money, said that if he lost the game, he would go into outer space (which he defined as "out where the angels sing with them thar herpes"). The other one, Yucky Wank, agreed. Mo' Money lost, and next you know, he got stoned on some exotic concotion consisting of banana peels, rocket fuel, marijuana, cum, milk, and Drano. When that failed to work, he built a rocket, filled it up with potatoes for no good reason, and called it Spudnik. A clerical error changed the name to "Sputnik". He rocketed himself into outer space, and promptly died from the drugs he had earlier toked on. The second ship, "Mo's Garbage Junk Ship", also known as the Century Eagle, took off under San Holo's command in 1958, and retrieved the Sputnik. Then the crew mutinied and stole it, the men claiming that they needed to claim Uranus for the Anal Sex Association. (They never got there - they spent too much time in each other's anuses instead.)
The Mafiosos back on Earth, meanwhile, lost half of their fortune in an unfortunate sweating incident during a massive orgy, making the bills they had soggy, and frankly, rank. (See money laundering).
Toto, a famous astronaut (that is, a stoned-out prostitute), was found in a back alley with Fred Astaire scatting. The newspapers never clarified, and to this day we are unsure as to what exactly Toto did that fateful night.
The loss of Apollo 13, believed to have fallen into the hands of satellite TV pirates looking for free HBO, led many of the members to drink.
They broke up briefly, but returned 6 months later, claiming they had taken a hiatus.
[edit] New Beginnings
NASA came back with a roar by successfully launching Sputnik and sending the United States into first place in the space race.
They followed with their first full launch (see right), and soon began playing concerts in space.
Unfortunately, in 1986, for their farewell concert on the Challenger space shuttle, as Shibby strung a power chord to test his guitars tuning, the sound waves triggered a bomb Dr. Doom had placed on the ship, and twelve seconds into their hit song, Red Like a Commie, Red Like My Neck, the Challenger exploded.
Later, the Challenger was rebuilt from spare parts collected from earlier disaster sites, including Colombia and Apollo 13. In 1988, NASA finally made it to the moon and were the first to broadcast a popular music concert from its surface. Former employees of NASA are claiming that astronauts were traveling to the moon and back every other weekend and that this is kept secret because it sounds like a much greater achievement if they only did it once. Another reason for the secrecy is that they were going to the moon to avoid laws against pedophilia.
[edit] Rivalries
While NASA's most famous rival has been the Soviet Union's space program, there was, in fact a more viable rival to NASA. Known as NASSA, this space program was ran entirely by African Americans. However, thanks to a campaign of suppression by the United States Government few people knew anything about their accomplishments. For more information watch this documentary.[1] Lately, the Chinese have launched the Chingchong space program, with its "takenonotes" (Chinese for "fuhgeddaboudit") inhabiting the Chingchong capsules.
[edit] Aftermath
Today, the government occasionally asks what is left of NASA's organisation to create model spaceships for Hollywood movies. There is evidence, however, that NASA has been secretly building a multipart robot in order to regain their lost fame by flamethrowing the jibblies out of competing space agencies.
This detailed schematic of the NASA Shuttlebot (codename "Herman") shows that the gigantic machine was intended to harness the power of no fewer than eight full-size space shuttles: Endeavour, Discovery, Atlantis, Columbia, Challenger, Enterprise, Pathfinder, and Trump. With destruction of the Challenger and Columbia shuttles, NASA is still three units short of their goal, but it is only a matter of time before their monster unites to wreak havoc on the earth in the time-honored tradition of Voltron.
After having several space-shuttles blow-up, NASA quickly renamed itself Need Another Seven Astronauts.
[edit] Reality
NASA was really created as an attempt to fool people into thinking America reached Venus (as Europe did first). It failed to live up to the expectations of NACA.
[edit] Past Missions
- Mars Climate Orbiter (1998) Bill Clinton's mission to Mars looking for interns
- VH-1 (1992)
- Sun Probe 1997 - Al Gore's manned mission to the Sun. Al Gore later admitted that the astronauts would have had a better chance if the mission was launched at night
- USS Enterprise (This project failed due to the election of president Bush)
[edit] Current Projects
- Airline
- Dyson sphere
- The trial of Lisa Nowak
- American Imperialism into outerspace.
[edit] Space Shuttle Program
- Space Shuttle Columbia
- Space Shuttle Challenger
- Space Shuttle Discovery
- Space Shuttle Atlantis
- Space Shuttle Endeavour
- Sputnik
- Ford Focus
- Ford Pinto
- Lucky Charms Mach 5
- The Search for Specs
[edit] See Also
- ISS
- Star Wars
- Emo
- Goth Scene
- Disaster Area (band)
- John Aaron
- Voyeur Inn:NASA
Categories: Organizations | Science | The universe | Explosives | Space | Cosmos | Flying machines
