[edit] Description

Never-Twice-(the)-Same-Colour is an early standard for American Visual-Distortion-Units (or VDU's). It is the American equivalent of the PAL (Perfectly-Acceptable-Lightwaves) standard. One of the most fascinating (or annoying) features of the NTSC standard is that every device which claims to conform to the standard in fact renders images in totally different colors. Historically it has also resulted in smaller display resolutions as a result of extra hardware required to color-correct the display during the vertical blanking interval. Supporters of the standard claim it is now much better and only has problems when displaying color.

[edit] History

In Soviet Russia, color chooses YOU using knobs and sliders

[edit] Chinese Origins

NTSC like most things, was invented by the Chinese in 1503 B.C. after lengthy discussions and the ratification of the 8th treaty of Xang-Duame (The capital city of China at that time which was eventually flattened by Godzilla during the 1114 great film festival of Xand-Duame, which was in fact the last film festival ever held there).

[edit] Early drafts

The first seven treaties were abandoned due to the American delegates mis-reading their invitation and arriving dressed in Purple suits and an incident involving the translation of Oscar Wilde quotes. Indeed it was the Chinese who invented the Jade green Oscar awards which only became gold after they were spray-painted by the American Mafia to hide their origins (and thus avoid paying for them).

[edit] Revisions

It wasn't until Micro$oft acquired the rights to use the NTSC standard [citation optional] that Visual Distortion Units went back to using green text on a black background just to avoid a hostile takeover bid which had been launched by the Chinese 2 years earlier. This bid failed after the Chinese government attempted to buy Micro$oft using red dollar bills which they firmly believed was the correct color of American currency when they printed it.

[edit] Criticisms

[edit] Lookup tables

Critics argue that it's the missing 'u' in the U.S. implementation of Colour which causes the standard to fail citing arguments of 'missing byte from lookup tables'. In fact some theorists claim the colour-table lookup problems stem from later additions to the standard which are actually subversive alterations by the Chinese trying to get their own back for the Oscar Wilde quotes.

[edit] Neener Neener NeeeEEEner

Other critics argue that it's just crap

[edit] Notes

Due to the NTSC standard being adopted by the Americans, All references to colour should use the incorrect spelling, ie: color.
If you are reading this article on an NTSC display you may experience severe episodes of vomitting which can be alleviated by clicking on refresh in your browser. This is still preferable to the Soviet variation of the standard as in Soviet Russia, VDU vomits on you
In some cases, color rendering may be so bad that text is rendered invisibile due to an unexpected type-mismatch in the foreground and background colours. This is due to a malfunction in the space/time continuum and it is recommended that you Don't click here!.