Naomi Campbell

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“ I pulled a Naomi Campbell today. It threw my cell phone at the mime on the street.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Naomi Campbell

The Naomi Campbell was thought to originate from mythology. It was a "Whore", a supernatural being that has generally been described as a malevolent spirit. A "Naomi Campbell" which is frequently depicted as a force that may be conjured and insecurely controlled. The "Model" demon in recent use is largely a slutty references to good "Models" and can be found in Hedonistic text. In common language, the Naomi or "evil bitch from hell in which there is no escape" is an evil bitch, whose sole goal in life in to create a living hell for illegal immigrants. The Naomi's main source of nourishment are cocaine and the attention of vapid celebrities while strutting a runway wearing a $500 piece of string.

Naomi was born in Hell. It's family soon moved to Africa, where it reportedly dissected already dead animals as a child and began to consume unknowing individuals such as Governor Rendell who was later regurgitated to do it's bidding. It struggled with substance abuse and sexual identity issues, as well as low self-esteem which lead to the rape and murder of fellow "Whore" Jesse McCartney. After years of constant fighting, it's creators were killed in the Civil War. In fact, Campbell committed it's first murder at the age of 5, killing Will Smith in an angry lovers quarrel. After picking up the 75 year old hitchhiker, Campbell invited Smith to it's house where it later raped and murdered Smith supposedly because it "didn't want him to leave."

It later grew to become a powerful being whose potential has yet to be realized but, with the absorption of all the important physical attributes of now anorexic Kate Moss she is a force to be reckoned with. She displays her abilities on her home planet "MODEL",where she is a Demi-God of sorts.Her abilities include the ability to enslave entire populations of illegal immigrants.She does this with the promise of "money" or sexual favors for her female counterparts.

[edit] Allegations

“She killed my father and raped my mother.”

~ Tyra Banks on Naomi Campbell

“She kidnapped my daughter and sold her into prostitution”

~ Oprah Winfrey on Naomi Campbell

“She has also been known to beat maids, assistants, basically anyone who wakes her up with phones,PDAs and other dangerous weapons.”

~ Anonymous on Naomi Campbell

“She actually was the first to grow moss on the south side of a tree rather than the north. With this discovery, she allowed the moss to take form and eventually form Kate Moss. How she did it? I don't know.”

~ Former Manager on Naomi Campbell

“It was all her idea - she's using me as a scapegoat. I'm innocent!”

~ Robert Mugabe on Naomi Campbell

[edit] Recent Developments & News

It has been discovered by whorish photographers that Naomi is the creator of Amish,a small insignificant yet sinister form of life found only in Smurf Village.The discovery has marked yet another important milestone in human evolution since the creation of rascism.

The candid footage below shows Naomi Campbell "dealing with" (demonstrating her trademark spitting technique, reserved mainly for police officers) some random guy who suggested she was stupid and looked like a stick. Campbell received two minutes community service for the attack. After being handed the punishment, Campbell's lawyers quickly told journalists and hacks alike that Naomi is, "truly sorry for the outburst and is a changed person". She is now hiding in Zimbabwe.