Napalm

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“I've always liked a bit of napalm in my evening tea.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Napalm

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... victory.”

~ Napalm huffer on Vietnam War

“Napalm sticks to children!!!”

~ Scott Haag on Napalm

“Burning shirtwaists sticks to immigrants as napalm sticks to Vietcong.”

~ Scott Haag on Shirtwaist Factories

“This is the grimmest and most frostbitten substance that isn't frostbitten or came from Norway ever. ”

~ The necrowizard on necrobobsledding naked

“Napalm makes the fucking EMOs die. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa!!!!!!! Burn in Hell!! ”

~ William King on burning EMOs

Napalm is a petroleum-based drug, which is easy to overdose on. It was especially useful in the Vietnam War, when the United Spades of Amerika dropped it on the communists, who ODed on it. However, since the Americans knew how much to use, they could safely snort it. Experiments were done with injecting it, but many of these people went insane and could not stop watching anime.

1 History
2 Recipe
3 Alternative untested recipe
4 Sing Song
5 Substitutions
6 Signs of Abuse

[edit] History

Napalm was invented by Jesus, who said, "This is the shit!" For years, the secret was lost after Jesus was crucified. However, the pope rediscovered the formula in the Vatican Archives, but lost it in a poker game with Oscar Wilde. Oscar then made some and promptly snorted it, as he was out of kittens and puppies. He, too, then said, "This is the shit!" He quickly realized how rich he could get with the formula, so he sold it to the government in 1798. After several years of private use, it was given to the military, who realized its weapon value.

[edit] Recipe

Only Oscar Wilde and the government knows the true recipe for napalm. Ask them. However, It is rumoured that all of Mike Ditka's bodily fluids contain napalm.

[edit] Alternative untested recipe

Petrol mixed with styrofoam and maybe lots of wasabi and chilli. Equation:

Petrol + styrofoam + 1tonne wasabi + 1tonne chilli = Unimaginable PAAAAAIIIINNNNNN!!!!

If you want, you can test it on grues but nothing will happen. This stuff sounds dangerous, just use basic C4 works every time.

[edit] Sing Song

Napalm sticks to little children, All the little children of the world, Red and yellow, black and white, Watch and laugh as they ignite, Napalm sticks to little children of the world. yay!