Nebraska Nazis
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The Nebraska Nazis (GO NAZIS!) are an American Football team in the NFL (National Football League). They are members of the American Football Conference and compete in the AFC North Division. The team boasts three Championships won in 1973, 1987, and 1994.
[edit] History
The Nazis were founded in 1970 and were originally a member of the United States Football League, an expansion league founded by a constipated group of elite investors who thought they could compete with the established National Football League. In the USFL the team was originally known as the Omaha Flamingos and their colors were pink, black, and white. They won the USFL's championship, the Toilet Bowl, in 1973, not that anyone gave a damn since the NFL's Super Bowl was the American football championship that Americans really worshiped and was widely considered the real game, the one where you do all the tailgating, barbecuing, and wife beating.
The team joined the NFL in 1982 when the NFL and USFL merged. Comissioner Rozelle allowed them to join under the condition that they dump their faggot mascot and uniforms and come up with something more macho that was more fitting of the psycho and violent fans of the NFL. Team owner Zeek Aisle Schicklegruber chose to rename the team the Nazis and had the uniforms redsigned to reflect the change.
[edit] Controversy
Immediately upon their entrance into the league and their name and logo change, the franchise was plagued by controversy. Detractors complained about the team's violent image, branding it racist and unbecoming of the wholesome American values the NFL was sworn to uphold in the likes of teams such as the Kansas City Chiefs and Washington Redskins that brand Native Americans as bloodthirsty savages as you see portrayed in wholesome all American John Wayne movies.
The American Civil Liberties Union represented the Nazis and the baseball team, the Birmingham Niggers, in three separate court cases, claiming their fans have the free speech right to wear Hitler Mustaches and do Nazi salutes.
[edit] Championships
However, the team pressed on despite criticism and made it to the Super Bowl for the first time in 1987 where they defeated the New Orlean Saints 2 to 0, the lowest scoring Super Bowl in NFL history and the only one decided by a safety in triple overtime.
The team returned to the Super Bowl in 1994 defeating the San Francisco 69ers 87 to 3 in a stunning come-from-behind victory. The 69ers lead the game 3 to 0 through the first three quarters before the Nazis exploded with 87 points in the 4th quarter. The team was plagued by more controversy stemming from Coach Goebels' choice to kick a field goal with only three seconds left in the game when they were already ahead 84 to 3.
