Necromancy
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Necromancy is the study of romances of the human neck.
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[edit] Important events in necromancy
Necromancy, like everything else in the universe, was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton on January 8th, 1666. He noticed that, despite the indifference in Adolf Hitler's attitude towards the Jews, Hitler's neck was in a long standing relationship with the neck of a Jew. This became known as the Law of Necromancy.
Seriously, the original Law of Necromancy just talked about Hitler. It didn't actually contain any scientific information until 1777, when it became one of the Wonder Twins and said "Form of... a scientific law!". It was then reworded to say that for every romance, there is an equal but opposite neck romance.
Necromancy was abandoned in 1888, the year when everyone learned everything.
Necromancy's long awaited comeback occurred in 1999. After the Y19100 Bug obliterated most of humanity, the survivors needed something to turn to. And that something was necromancy. Wait, no it wasn't. It was the emergence of rap sensation Al Qaeda. Necromancy's comeback was, in fact, a complete fucking coincidence.
[edit] Human on neck relationships
Human on neck relationships (known as sapienecromancy) have become popular ever since some retard watched Dracula and thought he was kissing. It is mistakenly thought by twelve year olds that these relationships result in the creation of hickeys. As implied by the word "mistakenly", this line of thought is a mistake. The real way hickeys are made is
[edit] Gay neck relationships
Gay neck relationships (known as homonecromancy) were declared a sin by Gay Neck God. If you're a neck, don't boink a neck of the same sex or else you'll burn in Hell, at least if local red-neck commentators are to be believed.
[edit] Necromancy in other cultures
(Note: the term "other cultures" implies that the reader is Martian. If you aren't, then get the fuck off OUR internet.)
In Mexico, it is customary to ask the other neck if he has been weakened by a swinging neckbreaker. Note that this is only necessary for the necks of luchadores. The other 17% of Mexican necks don't have to do it.
In Japan, necks dress up like tentacles.
Iraqis and Afghanis have recently learned that it is important to remove all American knives before participating in neck romance.
Chickens are known to have neck romance with complete strangers, in the hopes of hiding their necks from their sworn archenemy, Farmer Brown.
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