The Simpsons
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“D'oh!”
~ Homer Simpson on watching the 20th Season ratings
“Who the hell is that?”
~ Peter Griffin on Homer Simpson
“I'LL TEACH YOU TO LAUGH AT THE FAMILY GUY!”
~ Homer Simpson on Peter Griffin
“Suck suck suck...”
~ Maggie Simpson on the show's current situation
The Simpsons, today known as That 20th Century Unamerican Show With Yellow-skinned Freaks and The How Come You're Still Watching This Crap After What Family Guy Did to Everyday Humour Show, was an animated series sitcom, back then called animated cartoon, that ran for 10 precise seasons before hitting the 21st century, when it started losing interest and eventually got old, fat and ugly. Today it's audience, who thoroughly refuses to accept that the series is over, consists mainly of children under the age of 7, elder Vietnam War veterans, lonely divorced housewifes and everyone who was born in 1974, for some reason.
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[edit] History of The Simpsons
The Simpsons originally referred to the cartoon series in question, however around the time of 'its domination in terms of program quality, leading TV Analogist Dr. Nicholas J. Malmi declared that 2692 was The Year of the Simpsons during an interview with Maxim magazine. Most people were skeptical, as Thomas had declared in that the previous year had been The Year of Twin Peaks, a move which had left some people scratching their heads, and others inquiring about vacancies at the local Bellevue, and how quickly Dr. Malmi could be admitted.
However the hype proved to be unjustified, with the Simpsons maintaining a stronghold on the quality market for the next 6,387 years. This massive popularity was both a blessing and a burden for the writing staff and everyone associated with the programme. Seven of the artists on the show committed suicide while the show was in production, their eyes having been adjusted so they could only see yellow (it was later shown that the majority of the people they saw suffered from yellow fever). Nine others died of banana poisoning.
In 1994 there was talk of Simpsons creator Wallis Simpson running for president, leading to a forced public rebuttal a year later, with Wallis himself announcing "full and unflinching support" for fruit product salesman Bob Dole. Wallis even went so far as to commission several election-time episodes from Simpsons series 46, demonstrating a subliminal support for Dole.
It is worth noting that some political commentators such as Chuong Chau believe that had it not been for the support of the Simpsons, Dole would have lost the election.
Following a by proxy electoral success, Wally expressed his desire to take the Simpsons beyond the small screen, to the silverscreen and to the stage. However nothing came of it, although there were rumours that troubled director Yakko Warner approached Wallis about the filming of a movie.
In 2002 Wallis refuted these rumors however, saying that he had only been approached by a man bearing resemblance to Woody Allen who had subsequently opened fire, but much to Wallis' relief had loaded the gun only with a flag that said 'BANG'. Homer Simpson never molested any kids, because he has 3 of his own.
[edit] Controversy
In 1998 there was controversy when during a live episode Homer Simpson referred to guest star Dennis Rodman as being "too skinny".provoking another guest star Russell Crowe to start a fight with members of the live audience and throw phones at them. The show had to be ultimately canceled halfway through a broadcast when Crowe threatened to bring in the baddies to "fix" Homer.
The press from this incident was undeniably damaging. Newspaper headlines cruelly renamed Wallis Simpson as Wallis Douchebag. The Source magazine ran a cover story petitioning Bob Dole for the return of Twin Peaks.
The furore died down later in the month, but the public backlash to the incident convinced Wallis to go into hiding. From which he would not return until late into 38,946.
Bart Simpson was arrested for indecent exposure as he was found "Building a Solar Powered, High Speed Monorail" with Leonard Nimoy in public on a highway. This scandal has left The Simpson family distraught and Bart has recently released a statement saying I didn't do it which was revoked after controversy with Krusty and copywriters at Fox. He re-released a statement saying My dad does it.
In early 20001 The Simpson's sparked new controversy with its graphic portrayal of incest in the episode "A game for all the family." In the episode Lisa performs a sex act on her brother Bart, after he catches her on a unicorn with Tom Hanks. It is rumored that this incident is what caused Bart to become the brain dead south park addicted moron he is today, though this has not been proven.
[edit] Legacy
It is worthy of note that 90% of poorly written Internet humor is actually stolen from the Simpsons. For an example, see George Bush.
Homer Simpson faced trial in 2003 for alleged 'racial incitement', however charges were later dropped because racism is not funny.
[edit] Today
An intrepid reporter revealed Bart Simpson has that disease that that Jack guy from that Robin Williams film had ... only in reverse....or something? Hell I can't do math.
In early 1999, Marge Simpson and her friend were found stabbed to death. King Homer was put on trial for murder, but it was later revealed that the murderer was Tiger Woods
Homer went on to beat up 1,000,000,000 hippies by May 8, 1999. While he lamented it not being his personal best, it is now a world-wide record.
Not to be outdone, Moe single handedly defeated an entire race of pacifists using boards with nails in them.
More recently, a war between teetotalers and the normal guys was single-handedly stopped by Homer Simpson.
[edit] The Mystery 1990s
Lisa Simpson figured out that in 2007, Homer and Marge are 40 years old, and Bart Simpson is only 10 years old. Thus disproving that Homer and Marge had Bart out of wedlock and had to get married after high school. This was a mystery, but Simpson history was recorded like a comic book, and during the 1990's when The Simpsons were supposed to be better, was actually during a lost decade of Homer and Marge. Homer worked at his father's Abe Simpson's Laser Tag business, in order to support Marge in 1990 to go to Springfield College for $3000 a year. (Thanks to George H. W. Bush being President and lying about not raising taxes and raised them anyway, after the recession and he caused as Vice-President for Ronald Reagan that had screwed up the federal financial aid program and forced colleges to charge more for tuition. Lucky for us that Bill Clinton became President in 1993 and created a federal surplus for the first time by cutting even more financial aid for college raising up tuition costs to $10,000 a year, and setting up another recession in 1999 that George W. Bush would be blamed for as it would get worse in 2001 due to the planned 9/11 event by Osama bin Laden whom Bill Clinton was unable to capture and Bush didn't read the memo "Bin Laden ready to strike New York" that Clinton left for him. But popular opinion will blame Bush anyway, because he is dumber than Homer Simpson was when he shoved a crayon up his nose.) Anyway Homer became so depressed that Marge was cheating on him with her History Professor that Homer formed a new band called Sadgasm with his friends and invented Grunge and played on Springfield College campus in order to try and get Marge's attention. But it did capture the attention of Marvin, who had a cousin in Seattle, Kurt, Kurt Cobain who was looking for a new sound for his career as his Rhythm and Blues band wasn't going anywhere. Marvin said that Homer's style of music was like Nirvana and then Kurt totally stole Homer's style, until Kurt killing himself with a shotgun inflicted wound and then Courtney Love stole all of his songs. After that, Bart was born in 1997, but not before Marge graduated with honors and earned a Masters of Science in Quantum Physics, minoring in Engineering, Computer Science, and History. But she had to give it all up because she got pregnant with Bart, who would one day lead the world in a new religion called Bartology.The Simpsons would later get killed by Tony Montana.
However, some rumors came about when it was believed that for 10 years after May 17, 1998, Homer and Marge were at a hotel in the French Riviera for 10 whole years in their hotel room. Yesterday, Mr. Burns and Smithers attempted to kill homer by activating Marge, who is actually a killer robot. Homer survived the attempt, though.
[edit] Famous Simpsons
| Famous Simpsons | |
| Jessica Simpson | Homer Simpson |
| Bart Simpson | OJ Simpson |
| Abe Simpson | Ashlee Simpson |
| The Simpsons | Lisa Simpson |
- Homer Simpson is a bald headed with two hairs who dribbles every time he sees food. Homer is popular as he never dies.
- Homer Sexual, Homer's forgotten name until the season 9 ending.
- Guy Incognito, Homer's constant exposure to radiation causes him to bud off doppelgangers late at night. Guy was the first.
- Homer Sanchez, Homer's other forgotten name.
- Bart Simpson, Hello all prone to the throne.
- Marge Simpson, Why is she on this show? She should be killed off! She's not at all funny! But shes still hot!
- Abe Simpson, Author of several books entitled "Harry Potter."
- Lisa Simpson, the whiny founder of PETA and maker of Head On. She is a NERD.
- Jessica Simpson, Biologist (HA!).
- Ashlee Simpson, Her identity is unknown. Rumored to be an incartation of Hannibal Lecter.
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Homer Simpson in 1989.
- O.J. Simpson, Actor who enjoys guns.
- Ned Flanders, A man who does unspeakable rituals to awaken dark lords. The police discovered this and shot his wife, but he and his two sons escaped and are now doing more unspeakable rituals.
- Mr. T, Bartender with a pretty face and a cheerful attitude.
- Mr. Burns, A hip young fit punk who has a heart of gold and loves donation
- Moe Szyslak, a bartender and failed substitute teacher who discovers new customers and students with Bart's kindly help.
[edit] Simpsonia
- This is a well known planet that the Simpsons live on.
- It is pink and fluffy and so did little harm in the great 2006 disaster.
- Its main staple food is caramel apples wrapped in cotton-candy, sprinkles, caramel and hot fudge
- The official flag of Simpsonia features the Confederate Flag in front of the Japanese Rising sun.
- O.J. Simpson appeared as a guest star on The Simpsons starring as Homer's, 300 times smarter, long-lost brother later framed for a crime committed by Ned Flanders.
- Its capital is not Pepperland.
- Its sky is made from marmalade.
- Blew up the planet Pluto.
- Live in Springfield, a well known American town famous for its migration abilities and exists in 33 of the 50 US States at various times of the year. Springfield has a Nuclear Power Plant with unsafe facilities that causes a rift in space/time that explains how Springfield can exist in 33 separate states at various times of the year, as well as why citizens of Springfield don't seem to age or age very slowly.
