Neodymium
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Neodymium is a metallic substance which is commonly used by cults or people who believe in living forever who believe that they can make magnets of this stuff which give them the ability to live forever. If you are a regular person, do not attempt to eat, inhale, or do anything with this stuff at any time (except if you are immune to it, of course), as only cults and those who believe in this stuff does this.
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[edit] Uses for Neodymium
Uses for this deadly substance include use in making magnets, child's toys, glass, and some other things. I can't remember. Just, please, don't buy anything with neodymium, we beg you, please don't buy this stuff, it's bad, seriously. No! Don't buy that, that cute little brooch is made of neodymium plated with gold! That thing will kill us all and doom the Earth to oblivion and eternal damnation! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Earth turns into a damned HELLHOLE!*
[edit] Neodymium Magnets
Neodymium magnets are total bullshit used to make people live forever. Nobody knows why it is claimed to work, though. This metal, when made into magnets, is put in common looking jewelry, like bracelets, etc, so be wary of what you're buying or where you're shopping for your jewelry or other metal accessories, you do not want to get caught wearing this stuff, trust me. It'll make you bat fuck insane. Also, magnets of this stuff ruins magnetic fields, especially those of credit cards, ATM's and other money spitting out devices, making them not work anymore, so you will be out thousands of bucks all due to you wearing that cheap little bracelet that you think is so cute, and you can also lose all the porno and all that important work off your hard drive, just because you had to get a beautiful set of cuff-links that were made with the metal of devils.
There are so many health risks from having such magnetic stuff made of neodymium. All the huge, smelly pile of steaming lies told to you by the cults that say that it's good for you is just that, lies! In fact, neodymium shortens life expectancy more than cigarettes, obesity, alcoholism, cutting, drug use, and other deadly factors combined! It's so strong in magnetic fields that it actually rips your blood cells in half, causing you to have a type of anemia called Neodymiumcausedsuperdeadlyanemia. Studies also prove it is the leading cause of cancerous cysts in the human body, even more that super deadly radiation.
The magnetic properties of neodymium are very powerful, so powerful that all of the neodymium magnets not used are kept in high security vaults buried 15 inches below ground in the middle of the Sahara desert. If the vault were ever uncovered and opened, the whole world as we know it will lose all technology, and you will have to steal porno mags from shops or become a peeping tom. We wouldn't want that, would we?
[edit] Use in Children's Toys
All too many children's toys are cursed with the evil substance, especially magnetic stuff (see above what harms the magnets do). Isn't that crazy! These unfortunate children are susceptible to poisoning if they chew on the toy, because it has a tendency to break very easily even if it is coated with other potentially dangerous metals, which also may chip off and damage the toy and a child's brain and or health.
Please do not buy any products with neodymium, as these products will kill your children or you!
[edit] Warding off the Effects of Neodymium
Yes it is possible to ward off its effects. Unfortunately for us, a ton of things are made of this evil element, so we must all know how to ward off its evil spell upon humanity at large (unless we're immune, which most aren't). Having at least an equal amount of praseodymium present is always the best way to keep neodymium at bay. Another way is to put a plastic bag over the offending surface. There are other ways, but it would take too long to list them.
