Nepal

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राम राज्य
Last Hindu Bastion
Royal Estate People's Republic of Nepal
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "We go to Hotel Bhalley Bhiew now"
Anthem: Ke chha? Bhat Khayo? (Our women go to work)
LocationNepal.png
Capital Cat Mt. Dew
Largest city Hotel Mt. Dew
Official languages any movement of tongue found in Nepal
Government Monarchy Republic
 -Prime Minister Monarch G. Dubya Bush
National Hero(es) Abominable Snowman
Declaration
of Independence 		The day China announced Tibet its last frontier
Currency Respules of O 2
Religion Hedonism
 Area 650 km2 from satellite view. (354,453 km2 flattened out.)
 Population density 2.1 per peak square foot
 Favourite pastime cum we play "dorji dorji" now

Nepal is a state situated in northern part of United States of Asia. The other states are India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Maldives and Bhutan.

Contents

[edit] History

One dark and stormy night, young Gondwana II, Grandson of Panagea The Great, son of Super-continent Gondwana, a full blooded 21 years, now a man, riding his steed through unexplored parts of the woods of Tethys, further and further, deeper and deeper, rain whipping both: him and his ride's haunches, saw the shadow of a damsel flutter in the distance -- her robe fully drenched with rain and her body's contours hopelessly exposed. She was the voluptuous Eurasia. Young Gondwana II hadn't seen a full grown woman before. Overcome with lust, Gondwana II lost sense of time and plate.

Gondwana II chased Eurasia. He spurred his mare to get close to the fleeting figure of the hapless damsel running away from him; dismounted hurriedly, disrobed, disrobed Eurasia (she did not protest), stepped six paces back, lowered his head and crashed headlong into her. Eurasia bunched in throes of tectonic ecstasy. Nepal, the highest point under Gondwana II stirred and jettisoned skywards,
NASA Seasat image of Nepal, circa 20 Mil B.C. Nepal was the highest point under the Tethys Oceanus
NASA Seasat image of Nepal, circa 20 Mil B.C. Nepal was the highest point under the Tethys Oceanus
rising at an alarming pace, the ripples powerful enough to cause a million tsunamis in the woods of Tethys and beyond, to become the highest point above the sea and it stayed there, in that perpetual pose of the grandest erection of all times: as a monument and testament to the earth shattering clash of the two great tectonic plates, Gondwana II and damsel Eurasia. This is how Nepal's fate was once sealed. This is how Nepal was once born.

After so many years, Nepal still remains perched on top of the topmost while being relentlessly pushed upwards (though at a much lesser speed, for great passion subsides only with great time and the passion behind the story of Gondwana II and Eurasia still simmers under the very earth we walk on -- consummation of the greatest love of these two greatest continents has begun but hasn't yet concluded).

[edit] Geography

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nepal.

From a domestic viewpoint Nepal's geography consists of higher mountains and lower agricultural slopes, humouristically called "valleys" or "plains". From an international and thus more objective angle of sight, Nepal consists of different aspects of the adjective "sky high" in its more comparative and superlative forms.

At its sky highest, it stands 8,500 m above sea level (asl), while its so called "lowest" sits at 1,400 m asl (which probably is also pretty high). It's capital, Cat Mt. Dew, sits (or "stands" for the rest of humanity) at an altitude of 1,500 m asl.

12 of the 10 highest mountains in the world are located in Nepal (the 4 laggards that haven't surfaced yet are also counted by most cartographers).
Mt. Swirling Union Jackson. View from K2 peak.
Mt. Swirling Union Jackson.
View from K2 peak.
The world's highest mountain peak, Swirling Union Jackson (height 8,500.1 m asl), is located in Nepal in the lane right next to the left of Hotel Mt. Dew: behind the public urinals. It is a major tourist attraction and supports Nepal's tourism industry at that height. The second tallest mountain in the world, Flag of Nepal (height 8,500.01m) is also in Nepal and located atop the main dome of The Royal Palace in Nepal's capital. The third highest mountain peak in the world, Flag of UN -- also in Nepal -- is perennially under snow and not visible. The fourth highest mountain peak, Flag of New Zealand went missing or lost it's position to K2 in 1953. Geologists are undecided if the Abominable Snowman chewed it down or if the banshee winds of Arctic Nepal blew it away. Around the time Pluto fell from it's pole position as the last planet of the Solar System, circa 1953 AC, K2 ascended the pole to be come to be regarded as the the fourth highest flag of the solar poles (both poles, north and south, considered jointly).
Persistence of MammarySurrealist painter Dali's depiction of the great clash of Gondwana with Eurasia. Nepal is seen jutting out of the sea. (surreal scale: 1 mm = 10100 mm)
Persistence of Mammary
Surrealist painter Dali's depiction of the great clash of Gondwana with Eurasia. Nepal is seen jutting out of the sea. (surreal scale: 1 mm = 10100 mm)
In shape, Nepal resembles an interlocked chain of mountains from the sky. However it's nothing like that on the ground. On ground it's full of casinos, fresh & hot french breads, bagels, unshaven hippy men, au naturale hippy women with wiry armpit-hair spilling out, King's Palace, King's Palace Cafe, King's Palace Hotel, King Breweries, Tahmel square, Hotel Mt. Dew, Hotel Mt. Do, Hotel Dew 5 Star, Hotel Dews Royal, Mac Donalds, Coca Cola, Pizzahuts, Gurkhas, khukris (daggers), donuts, litter, and some peaks and valleys. That some peaks and valleys are not peculiar to just the natural terrain of Nepal but are shared equally by the womenfolk of Nepal should not come as a surprise to readers (and tourists alike). Nepal is full of the ethereal, the magical, the sublime and the surprising.

Mac Donalds is the second most important tourist attraction of Nepal.

Nepal borders the land of holy cows on the south side and the land of healthy yaks on the other (that may or may not be in China). It is separated from the Land of Gollums by just a 21 km long chicken's neck.

[edit] Economy

Nepal is a poor country 50% (or the 2' lower half of it) goes without oxygen everyday
Nepal is a poor country
50% (or the 2' lower half of it) goes without oxygen everyday

Nepal is one of the poorest and least developed nations in the world; the average living standard is so low that practically no one reaches above it.

Nepal's only rich neighbour, China, gives it abundant aid: mostly by way of roads, infrastructure development and armaments. In a never-ending battle, these roads, infrastructure and armaments are hijacked by maoist insurgents in an attempt to wage war against and overthrow China. The King is a neutral spectator to this sport and intervenes only on behalf of the Tourism Industry of Nepal: it's only economy. China has infinite patience and it'll probably win the war.

[edit] Exports

Nepal yearly exports a lot of sand, pebbles, rubble, minor and major stones, coli bacteria polluted water and other kinds of industrial downfall to India. India has tried to stop this import by both trade embargo and high palisades. On the former point they have been discouraged by IMF and on the latter by gravity.

[edit] Government and Politics

Nepal has a King! Hooray! Not many countries have a real king today (not counting King Elizabeth II, who, many speculate, is a queen dragged and foisted on unsuspecting public as a king in full regalia). Most Nepalese citizens are happy and eager to protect this newfound monarch. They all hope that someone of the royal family, will, in time, marry princess Stephanie of Monaco. Such a unification through marriage would be a unification of the two kingdoms: this would give 28 million Nepalese the unique opportunity of buying mansions on the French Riviera at severely discounted prices.

Political parties in Nepal:

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Communist Party of Nepal (Unified Marxist-Leninist-Maoist).
  • Conservative Party
  • Democratic Party
  • Communist Party (Maoist) CEO: Prachanda
  • Communist Party (United Marxist)
  • Communist Party (Marxist-Leninist)
  • Communist Party (Unified Marxist-Leninist)
  • Communist Party (Unified Marxist-Leninist-Maoist)
  • Communist Party (Disorganized Maoist-Maoist-Stalinist-Hoxhaist-Did-We-Already-Mention-Maoist?)
  • Communist Party (Not Quite Sure)
  • Communist Party (From 11:00 pm until the early morning, dresscode: red, first drink is on the house!)
  • Not Anti-Anti-Uncommunist Peoples Front of Nepal (Polpotist-Jimjonesist)
  • Tupperware Party (Communist)

Nepal is the only DEMORCRATIC nation that is ruled by politician who were never voted in by the public.

[edit] Demographics

A majority of Nepal's ethnic population claims descent from various prehistoric tribes who once got so fed up of crowds, cows, cow dung, bulls, bull shit and dense populations of smelly peoples in the Indo-Gangetic plains, that they decided to move upwards, up the steep Himalayas, for a better view of the Indo-gangetic circus and laugh at the "plains" people from a distance.

Lately an infiltration has commenced from Tibet, caused by Chinese tribes from neighbouring China: these Chinese tribes, fed up of crowds, horse shit, pekinese dogs, disposable chopsticks, more noodles and less rice in the Yang-tse-kiang basin, decided to move up their side of the Himalayan range to inhabit the Chinese plateau (erstwhile Tibetan Plateau) and push the Tibetans, their yaks, prayer wheels and lamas off the brink and headlong into Nepal.

[edit] Sports

The national sport of Nepal is slope bowling. The players start with throwing a bowling ball somewhere between Pokhara and the Chinese border. They "strike" if 10 villages (or more) are swept away before the shred reaches the Indian Border. Members of SAARC[1] countries are charged 10 toilet paper rolls for participating in this sport; rest all foreigner buggers are charged $10.

[edit] See also

[edit] Notes & External References

  1. ↑ A geopolitical confederacy of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Nepal that no one really cares about. See external link: Wikipedia on SAARC. (Warning: The preceding is an unverified link. Uncyclopedia is in no way responsible for any viruses or any other viruses that your software/PC/hardisk or you host's LAN/Intranet/Cybercafe may contract from visiting that external link or it's site, URL, webpage, portal or any of the sites/URL's/webpages/portals of advertisers hotlinked to that site/URL/webpage/portal.)


Countries and territories of Asia

Western Asia: Afghanistan | Armenia | Azerbaijan | Bahrain | Persia | Terrorism | The Holy Land | Far East | Iraq's Hide-out | Oman | Pakistan | Palestinian Territories | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen

East Asia: China (PRC) | Central Korea | Hong Kong Phooey | Japan | Macau | Kimland | South Korea | Taiwan (ROC) | Wal-Mart's Republic of China | Republic of Taiwan

Southeast Asia: Brown Eye | Cambodia | East Timor | Indonesia | Laos | Malaysia | Myanmar | Philippines | Singapore | Thailand | Vietnam

South Asia: Bangladesh | Bhutan | India | Kashmir | Maldives | Nepal | The Wanker | Tibet

Central Asia: The Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan | Kyrgyzstan | Mongolia | Tajikistan | Turkmenistan | Uzbekistan | other Stan countries

Euroasia: Cyprus | Georgia | Japan-France | Russia | Turkey | The Filipino Empire

Phoenician Asia: Lebanon

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