Neptune
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“Neptune is STOOOPID”
~ Captain Obvious on Neptune
Neptune is entirely made out of gas that comes out Uranus when it farts. This flatuancy has given astranoughts SUPER AIDS. Everytime Uranus farts, it adds a little more volume to this huge tilted planet. Everytime there is an uneven number of farts each day, it tilts a little more to its side.
Neptune is currently owned by Babe, the talking pig, who inturn is owned by the old farmer Mac Donald. It currently costs 3 million piles of manure and it's price is slowly going up because of supply and demand.
In the center of this planet is something called a Lunisto. It lives only on Neptune and cannot survive anywhere else. This is a very large two headed moocow that is very violent and VERY dangerous. If you ever come across this beast, (it has raped a few people in the last week or so) you must follow these instructions.
- 1. Scream loudly for help
- 2. Call the Large and Dangerous Annoying Pest Control- LDAPC(the number should be in your phone book)
- 3. Stay very still
- 4. Coverup your private parts as it will immediately go for them (its a flaming faggot)
- 5. Stay away from its teeth (it has mouths on various parts of its body)
This planet is a living thing that does not think it is owned. If you mention this to Neptune, it will spit gas at you until you die. It IS solid, contrary to popular belief and if you walk on certain spots, it will shake uncontrollably because it is VERY ticklish.
However, you do NOT want to get on its bad side. It will lash out and when you try to walk on it a few years or so later, it will swallow you whole and make you suffer for the rest of eternity.
Its enemy is the planet Mercury. Mercury raped Neptune when she was very little and she has a VERY good memory. She sends untraceable blackmail to the Sun to heat up every once and a while to burn Mercury.
Neptune also has uneasy relations with Triton, its only important moon. Triton has threatened to flee to Uranus several times, but due to a restraining order, is forbidden from leaving orbit for another million years. Triton and Neptune can be frequently observed exchanging insults and "yo mama" jokes, the latter of which can cause any human to lose their sanity. If they start arguing, cover your damn ears!
Neptune has completely abandoned its least favorite moon "Doub-O" (Okmatt Okturney). After several years later, it felt sorry and cloned Doub-O; thus sending a clone to each planet in the solar system (even itself).
[edit] See Also
| Planets |
|---|
| Confirmed (Solar System): Freddy Mercury / Mercury | Venus | Luton | Earth/Lyons/iEarth/World | Disney World | Planet Hollywood | Mars | Planet Google | Globe | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus / Youranus | Neptune | Magrathea | Pluto (planet) |
| Confirmed (Exosolar): An T'ark-Ti'kah | Uncyclopedia | Discworld |
| Dwarf planets: Ceres | Pluto | 2003 UB313 | |
| Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron | Boob |
| Denied by CIA: Urth | Irk | Krypton | Michigan |
| In a galaxy far, far away: |
| Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Earth | Qo'noS | xxEarth Cxx |
| Loner Planets: Planet A | Planet AAA! | Wisconsin |
[edit] The Contrary Belief of the Pizza Man's War Against Pluto
So... What are you waiting for, go down to your local store and buy mounds of Yo Dig It Man Cereal!!! Thats right, Yo Dig It Man Cereal!!! It is high in calcium, insects, and Pizza!!! Your cavaties are worth its intoxicating effect on your oysters... WOAH!!! LOOK A DUCK!!!
