Nerv

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This article has a good idea and concept, but isn't finished. You can do something about it.

"Nerv: v. as in to nerv. Marking an Uncyclopedia Article as having poor writing quality" Meta humour about article quality

Your article sucks, therefore it has No Redeeming Value

Nerv: v. as in to nerv. Marking an Uncyclopedia Article as having poor writing quality, or identifying a joke which does not work. Known to piss off Admins when you "Nerv" one of their articles. also: to NRV an article on Uncyclopedia. Taken from Latin: Nos Redemto Valem, or literally translated (it has) No Redeeming Value. An article has "no redeeming value" if it is deemed worthless by the lords of uncyclopedia or, even worse, Sophia herself. A good example of a useless article with no redeeming value would be this article.

[edit] Reasons Why Your Article Has No Redeeming Value

Thank you Ethan Drake

You forgot to mention Chuck Norris, Oprah, Vin Diesel, John Wayne, Cher, or George W. Bush.\
You made reference to Chuck Norris. Fuckin' stopit already.
You made a reference to YOU.
We all hate you.
Lack of an John Wayne quote.
It's because you are black.
You are just not good at writing articles (a.k.a. you suck)
Nobody cares about your subject.
Your picture was not photoshopped.
Your links don't work
Yu are teh wurst spellar. evar.
Sophia needs a weekly sacrifice.
Because the editors love to cackle as they stamp.
It's all part of a conspiracy.
Because uncyclopedia is secretly controlled by the devious liars at Wikipedia.
You need to include more useless semi-humor, at least two sub-headings more.
Even your mom didn't like it.
Your article is about New Edmontonshire. Fuckin' stopit already.
Because you have no redeeming value, so go cry now.
Your article is Norweigan. See Uncyclopedia Article for more info on Norweigans.
Because it looks like it was written by Yoko Ono.

[edit] Importance

Uncyclopedia is a sort of sponge, really, absorbing many horrible things from the internet... nature of the wiki as they say. Here at Uncyclopedia, our highly trained, (and frighteninly masochistic) editorial staff spends a lot of time in QA, or for those who are uninformed, deleting large piles of gobshite writing. Our eyes and brains are raped and abused, and yet we keep doing it, and why? Because we care. We all care, and we want Uncyclopedia to be the best it can be. Unfortunately, there are so few of us, and so many Sofa Kings, it's like one person trying to defeat an army of undead skeletons with neither chainsaw nor boomstick. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Fortunately, identifying and removing these abominations is a simple and straightforward procedure.

[edit] Authorization

Only 7^th level unsorcererers can use the nerv procedure. Failure to comply will result in a ban for you, your mom, your wife, and your firstborn child.

[edit] Shortened Methodology

Note: The following procedure can only be used by authorized assistant 
administrators, full Administrators, Junior Sysops, Chronarion, Bob Dole, full
Sysops, Heidi Fleiss, and Oscar Wilde.  Failure to comply with this policy is 
Grounds for excommunication from Earth's Atmosphere.  You have been Warned.

In the Edit Tab for an Article, type out the Following: {{NRV|~~~~~}}.

[edit] Full Procedure

First, in the upper right hand corner, note the link to log in or create a new account Go here, and create your Uncyclopedia account. Remember to update your unique user page, noting that you are a member of the order. Congrats, Plebe. You have moved forwards in life. You are no longer Completely Worthless. You are now merely Mostly Worthless.
Okay, now you simply have to find a crappy article on Uncyclopedia. If you are good, this should take no more than 15 minutes. This Link should help you to locate your crappy article with quickness.
Ensure you read the article fully. Take it in, consider it's meaning, and if it really feels like crap, you can proceed to the next step.
Contact a registered Admin. (Don't ask me how to accomplish this, it's top secret, and they haven't even told me yet). Send them a message about the article in question, detailing your concerns, and noting the article name in full wiki-markup language, hyperlinks included, and attatch at least one naked picture of a very good-looking girl that you personally know, and have coerced into posing lewdly for the admin's enjoyment.
The Admin will evaluate the article in question, and give you 1 permission slip. This is actually an internal software notation on your user account, as stored on the uncycloservers. You don't need to worry about it, Admins and Sysops are the only ones who track this... well, them and the NSA. You will be contacted via phone, email, Secret Personal Courier, or your user page noting that you may proceed with the nerv. Alternatively, Satellite Radio Beams may simply transmit the permission directly into your skull.
Go back to the original Article, click on the Edit tab, and place the NRV tag (as noted above) at the top or bottom of the article. It depends if you want people to know that they are about to read a steaming pile of crap (place at the top) or if you would rather inform them that they have just finished reading a steaming pile of crap (place at bottom). Feel free to cackle as you stamp.