Nesbru

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Rektor Inger-Marit Øymo på Nesbru videregående skole forsøkte å unngå russebusskåring på skolen. Hø-hø!

~ Øyvind Rimbereid on Nesbru

The Holy Land of Nesbru is a little country outside of Oslo, which is the capital of Norway. Nesbru Videregående Skole is known as the headquarters of all the land of knark where the heavy rulers of Jack rules.

Nesbru is the land of knark. There rules Jack the lord of the sprøyte. The prime minister of Nesbru is called Vingaard, he and the king Jack (the lord of sprøyte) have ruled as a dictatorship for many years now. There are a certain unknown number of knarks in the country. Nesbru has been known to be one of the most terrorized lands in history because of the one and only and very evil(but not so evil, just evil) Finni bin Laden.


Contents

[edit] History of the Kingdom of Nesbru

Finni bin laden attacked the holy land of Nesbru for over 3000 years ago, back when Lord Panda reigned the once blessed country. The lord of bambus, Panda Valtolta, reigned with hard dictorship with the main income of bambus. This is also known as the famine years of The so-called "bambus ages". Finni bin Laden was a poor farmer from the little country, known today as the city of Hvalstad. In the beginning Lord Panda and Finni was close friends, Finni was even a part of the royal kingdom, but destiny had other plans in store. To be continued...

[edit] Prophesies of Asker

It has been written that one day the sky will turn red and the moon will turn dark and heaven and hell will unleash its forces against eachother. On that day, Finni and Lord Panda will go to war. This is all that is known about "the Prophesies of Asker", the text was hidden and is now long forgotten and it's said that a hero shall find the scroll and bring peace. The rumours has it that the scroll is only to be find in the lost cave of the "Gymhallen". There is also a magical key inside the scroll(the Prophesies of Asker) that will unlock the door to an unknown force. It's called "the key of Ivan". But as the ages went, so did the voice of the prophesy. It then came to pass that Finni attacked the sacred land of Nesbru. Finni would get the hold of the sacred soul dew and would seize the land of Nesbru forever, he thought... To be continued...


[edit] The Characters of Nesbru

  • Tore Arv is known as the secret heir to the kindom of Nesbru, his known as Prince Arving. He is also known as:

Arve-Stor-Tore-Arve-Arving-Arv-Stor-Arv-Bole-Arv. When Jack The lord of sprøyte was young he injected a syringe in a girl from the long lost Kingdom of Vollen, the syringe made the girl preagneant - and an heir was borned.

  • "Gunda" is known to be one of the most respected person in nesbrus complex history. Gunda was born 500 years ago into the dark pits of holmenskjæret, where the darkness itself breeds from the lake of evil. Gunda was raised here, and was tortured everyday. Gunda was a special human being and in protest of the darkness that lied within him, his legs evolved to the legendary Gunda legs, as we know of it today. These legs can carry a lot of weight and can be wielded as a weapon, but the power soon dissolved after many years of riding illegally on a firehjuling. He is highly looked upon cause the pain he suffered.
  • King Harald is the all time legendary master of sound. He invented sound before God himself could even think about it. The sound that Harald invented, lies within his soul as an contiunous audio. Harald is respected as a lawful man and is neutral to all human beings. A myth says that Harald actually came across from the far land of Sverige. No one has yet confirmed this myth to be real.

[edit] The Holy Gods of Nesbru

The knarks in the land of knarks (Nesbru) believes various in Gods. Two of the primal Gods is Tore the evil feminist Godess of Nesbru, and Henriette the good feminist Godess, who created the land of Nesbru millions of years ago. "Tore" is known for being a tyranic B.I.A.T.C.H. She punished all the men who cheated on their wife`s, by cutting of their "hmm" testicles and hanging them on the tree of wisdom for her own satisfaction. "Tore" is also known as the God death and candy. When people die(especially boys), she takes them down to her garden in hell where she hangs their skin on the tree of wisdom next to the known testicles. She feels joy when people die, and once a year she travels around Nesbru and kidnapps young knarkboys, so she can rape them, and later kill them for her own satisfaction.

[edit] The Legends of Nesbru

For a long, long time ago when the world was young and peace ruled both Nesbru and it's the neighbour contries, a strange wanderer, from a country far, far away. A russian homosexual named Drásjnie Priviet Òko Gabotsjia. To make his name a little bit easyer to say, they renamed him to comrads Ivan. It was in the end of the wiskey dynasti that comrads Ivan came to the land of Nesbru and would curse the people with a poison named alcohol(and Donald Duck). The people of Nesbru would be sicken by this twisted man whom only wanted love, so they locked him away in the "heis" and threw away "the key of Ivan". Romours say that Gunda found the legendary key of Ivan, the heis key, which is now hidden deep and the lake of holmenskjæret. To be continued...

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