New Democratic Party
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| Political Ideology: | Stalin-Mao, Lenin-MARX-engel my engels...WHAT!?-ism |
| Leader: | The Video Professor |
| Founder: | Joseph Stalin |
| Political Beliefs: | Baby-killing, Sodomy, Pot, Welfare |
| Founded: | June 6th, 1966 |
| Number of Seats in House: | 29 |
| Number of Seats in Senate: | None |
| Allied Groups: | Stoners, Feminazis, Homos, transgendered people,
Enviro-nuts, Jean Chrétien, Soviet Onion, Lenin |
“Go ahead, throw away your vote”
~ Paul Martin on the NDP
“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Old people, and 18-year-old 'Marxists': lend me your vote!”
~ Jack Layton on Canadian voters during the 2006 election
“Try my product!”
~ Jack Layton on The Video Professor CD-ROM
“Canadian elections”
The New Democratic Party (AKA. New Dope Party or NDP) is a far left pinko commie political party in Canada. It was formed in 1966 by Tommy Lee Douglas. The current leader of the party is Jack Layton, an IT professor who sells software that teaches people how to use Windows 95 and Microsoft Bob. They are one of the four main political parties in Canada, the other parties are the Fiberal Party, the Regressive Conservatives, and the radical militant Quebec Liberation Front. The New Democrats currently hold 29 out of the 308 seats in the House of Assholes, making them dead last out of the four parties.
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[edit] Political Beliefs
The NDP is a radical left wing party and has the following political beliefs:
- A soft approach on crime, which involves coddling and bribing criminals
- Legalization of Cannabis specifically marijuana and as well as all other drugs
- Mandatory abortions
- Banning opposite sex marriage
- Banning Christianity
- Raising Taxes
- Ban private corporations, everything will become governmentally owned, starting with Tim Hortons
- Surrendering to Terrorists
- Turning the armed forces into social workers and peace makers
- Ban peanuts nationwide, and feature annoying-as-heck PSAs on television with vending machines crashing into walls when being near peanuts
- A mandatory nationalized day care system in which all children are indoctrinated with Marxist propaganda
- Making men subservient to women
- Making white, Christian, straight men into social pariahs (except for the leader of course)
- Making littering a more serious crime than murder
- Use of pay-per-use health care will be deemed illegal and be punishable with death
- Raising the monthly allowances for welfare recipient to be more per month than the average NHL hockey player in a season
- Not letting them tell you it can't be done
[edit] News: NDP Contributes To Downfall Of Society
Fueled by much speculation, Konami, in cooperation with Hideo Kojima and Jack Layton, released a Collector's Editon of MGS3. The game however was so massive, it created a rift in time and re-wrote a few decades of history. You see, their plan was to recreate history so an imaginary event know as "The Cold War" became reality, hence making MGS3 more realistic. Unfortunately, the plan backfired, and incomplete mutated humans were created (and later codenamed H.I.P.P.Y.). These creatures roam the planet with no clear goal in sight, and seem to worship what was once a dandelion (later mutated by the same event) and takes on a peculiar shape. (The plant was codenamed N.D.P., but later renamed by the Mexicans). Over a long period of time (1960 - Present), the "hippies" have created a preposturous concept called "Liberalism". The belief is that everyone can be made happy without having to involve hard work or reality. Some hippies have organized, and invented massive lies like global warming, poverty, and black people. They now threaten to take over the world.
Thanks a lot Taliban Jack. You've asploded the planet. :O
[edit] Famous New Democrats
- The Video Professor
- Darrell Dexter
- Bob Rae
- Tommy "Lee" Douglas
- Jack Bauer
- Ed "The Sock" Broadbent
- Svend Family Robinson
[edit] See Also
