Saskatchewan

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“Wha wha whee wha!!!”

~ Borat Fark Sagdiyev on Saskatchewan

“The only place where you can lose your dog, and watch it run away for 4 days.”

~ Local on Saskatchewan

“Actually its just a rectangle in the middle of Canada”

~ The atlas on Saskatchewan
Love child of Joni Mitchell and Gordie Howe making a mess of Sasquatchewan
Love child of Joni Mitchell and Gordie Howe making a mess of Sasquatchewan
Glorious Square-Boxed Province of Sasquatchewan
Motto: "Hard to spell, easy to draw"
Provincial coat-of-arms (sturdy!)
Provincial coat-of-arms (sturdy!)


Sasquatchewan is the mecca to which all Sasquatch children aspire. Their mothers tell them stories with the wonders of Sasquatchewan and there are television shows about it. The good Sasquatches also attend special lessons on the weekend mornings, to learn the exact dance steps they need to enter Sasquatchewan and wear their Lemur skin coats.

Contents

[edit] Quick Sasquatch Facts

  1. Sasquatchewan is not to be confused with Saskatchewan.
  2. Saskatchewan is not to be confused with Sasquatchewan.
  3. You can see your dog run away for three days.
  4. Do not breed with Sasquatch, you will catch an STD, which stands for Sasquatchewan Transmited Disease.
  5. Lather, rinse, repeat (if desired).
Here is a version of GTA Saskatchewan, it has never been released
Here is a version of GTA Saskatchewan, it has never been released


Provincial Capital: Vagina
Most Popular Tourist Attraction: A hoe in Dog River
Official Currency: Canadian Tire Money, Oil, Wheat, NDP memberships
Wheat King of Saskatchewan: Dief the Chief
Provincial Holidays: Early April/November: Thank God We Don't Have To Change the Clock Day, February to January is "Tommy Douglas Month"
Founded: September 11, 2001

[edit] Famous Towns in Saskatchewan

Saskatchewan is as the map depicts it, rectangular and flat
Saskatchewan is as the map depicts it, rectangular and flat

In Saskatchewan cities do not exist, the closest thing to a city in Saskatchewan is a farm with a large cow herd.

[edit] Famous People from Saskatchewan

  • Brent Leroy
  • Hank
  • The geezer with the green hat
  • Gordie Howe - Got his name because he was a know-it-all and people would ask "Gordie, How?"
  • Tommy Douglas' hair style
  • Joni Mitchell - wife of guitarist extraordinare Kim Mitchell
  • Leslie Nielsen - founder of the Nielsen TV ratings system
  • Dief the Chief - possibly the greatest Prime Minister of Canada of all time
  • Eris - inventor of such useful items as existence and poutine
  • Jim Stiglitz
  • Mounties

[[Image:

[edit] History

Lorne Sasquatch, the premier of Saskatchewan
Lorne Sasquatch, the premier of Saskatchewan

Sasquatchewanians were originally a seafaring people, but have since been stranded on dry land due to the Global Warming scare of 1066AD. During the latter half of the second millennium, Sasquatchewan cultivated the odd plant marijuana for the first time anywhere in the world, and brought settlers from Europe in droves during the 1890s.

[edit] Current Eh?vents

Sasquatchewan is known today mostly for its CFL team, the Saskatchewan Roughriders instead of its marijuana grow ops. In at least 10 meetings annually, football sufferers hobble around Regina looking for pot while a 10 foot tall gopher urges the crowd to chant obscenities at the visiting footballers.

In moments of climax, Sasquatch children dart out among the afflicted without their green lemur skin coats and try to evade the authorities who are there to protect the footballers.

Most recently, a single mammal, who claimed to be the king of them all acquired his own internet. His first reaction was "I'm going to post on /b/ how our own team sucks.". Soon, a few more received internet, and now these elites spend their time looking at furry porn, because of the rarity of actual Saskatchewan people in porn.

As of late, a rise of pirates who steal wheat, barley and all the other grains has been noted. A mountie known as "Salty Bob" has been seen to ride with them, but during the winter months these pirates hang around New Mexico.



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