North-East Black Stripes
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North-East Black Stripes Football Club(often mistaken for Scotland), also known as Jokecastle United and the Leeds United Young Offenders Rehabilitation Program, are one of three teams based in the north of England to have come from the Generic franchise so as to not have to pay the city to use their name. They are the only football team to incorporate a comedy club, hence the comedy value in many of their performances.
[edit] HonoursHave won many trophys over the years and unlike Middlesborough have not won the sought after Walter Walls Carpets trophy(Yet,great shame). They have had Kevin "Id love it if i knew what i was doing" Keegan managing them twice. What an honour! Chel$ki
Currently have the sponsor Northern Rock. Which like them is useless, good for nothing and likes to waste money and go out of business. [edit] Famous SigningsKing (or should that be "clown") Kev, Sir Alan Sugar, and Mickey Owen have all signed in their time. Most of which were being held at gunpoint at the time by the club's evil chairman Fred Flintstone. In recent times, the house-brand 'football club' has become known for somehow signing talented stars like Dyer, Martins, Owen, Porker, Luque and Duff, whilst still remaining a solid fifteenth in the League. They also signed Lee Bowyer, but he was sacked for insisting to play wearing a pointy white hood with a swastika on the top, and for setting a quota for committing at least two hate crimes per match. |
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A few years ago, Barcodes signed a circus act by the name of Boumsong and Bramblefor a fee rumoured to be in the rgion of 3 months benefits and a stotty cake. The pair could often be seen performing hillarious acts in the centre of defence to the amusement of the rest of the Premiership. 'Fatty' Bramble can now be seen amusing others at his inability and pie-eating for an even worse team, located somewhere in North. Boumsong returned to Europe where it discovered that he was actually quite good when he played for France and was subsequently arrested for posing as a hapless donkey.
[edit] Historic Games
Just a 5-something win over the scum of ManUre in Keegan's first reign. And not to mention losing 1-9 at home to Sunderland in 1908. .....Then getting hammered 6-0 off Man yu in 2007.
[edit] Famous Players - Past and Present
- Teenage Girl Pin Up Beardsley
- CUNT
- Bob Dole
- David 'Ladyboy' Ginola
- Gazza of Alcoholics Anonymous
- Jimmy Nail
- Brain Johnson out of AC/DC
- Peter Reid's pet monkey called Bimbo
- The Pritt Stick Man
- Sting
- Tony Blair
- Bob Murray's Evil Twin
- Clint Eastwood's left leg
- Scott "I've done it in my pants" Parker
- The puffs out of High School Musical
- Chris Tarrant
- Andy (I'm Rite Klass) Galbraith
- Spongebob Squarepants
- Mrs Wicket from the animated Mr Bean Series
- Alan "ive got aids" Shearer
- 'Wonderwall' by Oasis
- Your Mum
- Shay Given them a goal
- Celestine "Baby"aro
- Peter Rabbit
- Duff Man from the Simpsons
- Lee "Racist Thug" Bowyer
- Oba-Paki Martins
- Nobby "Please don't fucking call me that" Solano
- Delboy (and Rodney because he was too scared to go do anything alone)
- Titus "Sorry-about-your-priceless-vase" Bramble
- Emre "There's nothing in my backpack" Belozoglu
- Charles "Pucker up" N'zogbia
- Michael Kyle
- Shola "Cow's Arse/Banjo" Ameobi
- Emre "Turkish Terrorist" Belozoglu
- Mattew "Scotch Egg" Pattison
- Jean-Alain "I swear that pole was aiming for me" Boumsong
- Mr Blobby
- Ronald Mcdonald
- Adolf Hitler
- the policeman from Balamory on CBBC
- Buzz Lightyear
- Micheal (injury prone twat and overated) Owen
- Nicky (OAP) Butt
- Titus Shambles
- That fat portsmouth fan with the drum who often appears on Match Of The Day
- Chris (fat rich bastard) Mort
- The gay ITV duo Ant and Dec
- Joey "ASBO twat#1/chaver thug and Britains most wanted man" Barton
- James "ASBO twat#2" Milner
- Spyro the dragon
- Gerrad Way's testicals
- Hendix's left buttock
- Kieron "shags his mother and his sister" Dyer
- Boris Becker's penis
- Big bird from sesame street
[edit] See Also
| The FA Premier League | ||||
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Atom Villa | Biggleswade | Chel$ki Abramograd | East Spam Divided | Emptypig | Greys Athletic | Londrés | Long Ballton Wanderers | Luton Airport | Madchester Oasis | Manchester Red Sox Ltd. | Mickey Mousers Franchise | Neverton | North-East Black Stripes | SundIREland | Pompeii | San Antonio Spurs | Sandwell Town | Wigan Pathetic | edit |
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Newcastle United are a semi-pro team. From winning a couple of games under Kevin Keegan, think they can win the Premiership next year. They were odds on for finishing in the top 6, my advice for people who go to Ladbrokes or Totes, keep your money in your pocket whilst betting on Newcastle United, because your only wasting your money on shit. Kevin Keegan will not do the job at Newcastle United next season, everyone saying the messiah is back, by losing nine games on the trot and starting a winning streak against a crap team, only beating Tottenham which is a pro team who can atleast win cups.
