Nick Cave

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“I'd go gay for him”

~ Aleister Crowley on Nick Cave

“What? Hah! I am gay for him”

~ Oscar Wilde on Previous Quote

Nick Cave is the Original Emo. He can be found writing many disturbing songs with his good friend John Milton, while drinking $7 coffee wearing all black and smoking clove cigarettes in England. He moved from Australia to England because he needed a more pretentious place to live. He is the name sake of the band Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. He once gave Chris Carter head in order to get his song Red Right Hand into an X-files episode.

When asked about his moustache, he denies that it contains magical powers.

Nick cave as a child

[edit] Early Years

It is commonly believed that Nick Cave's dark and brooding persona is a direct result of singing in an Anglican boys choir and attending boarding school, where he was beaten with a ruler. His childhood was so troubled that he often got picked up by the local authorities for loitering, and he once was caught smoking cigarettes by his mother, who worked at an adult book store.

[edit] Musical Career

[edit] The Birthday Party

I want this guy at my kids party.

Nick Cave has been the vocalist for several bands. His first band, The Boys Next Door, started out covering the melodic and uplifting work of Lou Reed, David Bowie, and Alice Cooper. They later changed there name to The Birthday Party and started dressing in clown suits for the entertainment of the elementary school population of Melbourne. This band broke up after Cave found his girlfriend Anita Lane in bed with fellow band member, guitarist and confetti bucket weilder Rowland S. Howard.

For a time Cave took a break from music in order to self publish several books and work in the little know Clown S&M field as his alter ego Baka the Clown Dom. He has several bastard children named after obscure '70s bands scattered throughout Australia.

[edit] The Bad Seeds

Feeling refreshed after his hiatus from music Cave decided to make several clones of himself and began recording and touring with them as Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Listening to their album Murder Ballads will get you on Homeland Security's watch list and get you expelled from school. In fact just reading this article may mean you're a terrorist. Did you know the government is watching you right now.

[edit] "Solo" work

Cave has also done some solo work, without one of his clones, after that clone impregnated Cave's then girlfriend P.J. Harvey. They have recently released an album called Grinderman. It is commonly believed that the title is an allusion to how he disposed of his clone's corps.