Nigeria

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Lulubu
Federal Republic of Nigeria
Nigeria

(Flag) (Coat of Arms) the biggest penis ever
Motto: 100% LEGAL AND SAFE!
Anthem: Circle of Life (The Lion King OP)
Capital	Abu Jhabi
Largest city	Lagos
Official languages	English
Government	Communist garden-party state
Emperor	SANI ABACHA
National Heroes	MRS HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA HRS Prince MR. OKAMBO MBOYO MASAKEKE MAGOMA (The guy who keeps emailing you)
Independence	1960
Currency	US$ from 419
'big penis	E-mail scams|Chestfuls of Unclaimed Cash awaiting transfer to your bank account
Religion	Soccer
Population	China's population divided by 10

“Oh look, it says here this guy from Nigeria will give me $5,000,000 if I give him $5,000”

~ Some guy on Nigeria

“Why won't anyone help me transfer my money to their bank account? I got the 5,000,000 right here, and you can keep 20%, just please, help me transfer it...no really, I'm serious...”

~ Prince Olujawon II on Email offers

“I hear it's a smashing place”

~ Oscar Wilde on Nigeria

“419 it no be thief! I just take your money and disappear!”

~ Nikem Owoh on 419 spam

Greeting, and how are you doing, Okwonkwo? Nigeria, or most often spelled "Niggeria", lies in the center of Africa and is shaped like a heart. Nigeria is a very rich country with good and hard working leaders, and in fact, it has a $500.000 dollars that it needs to get to the United States so that it can be put into the right hands, and it needs to transfer 20% of that to your bank account first.

It has a vast amount of natural resources. It is widely known for its honest and hard working people. It is believed that each of the 36 states, in addition to having massive quantities of oil, also has vast mineral resources. With a workforce that amounts to one of the most literate and zealous in Africa, Nigeria is capable of being the next superpower. Un des plus grands malentendus arose during the discussion of economic superpowers such as Western Union. Nigeria is well known for its perfect credit record and is currently the home of the Visa headquarters and other honest credit card companies. Despite media reports, Nigeria was the first country to place a man on the moon and gave Amerika lower-class Nigerian workers in the 1700's to aid in Amerika's development. This is different from Niberia, which has exorbitant taxes and bank accounts that are not limited to what is actually in the account.

[edit] Government

The head of the government is his excellence Mr. Alexander Donald Griffiths of Darlington head of security Mr Wahab Babangida

Honest Nigerian millionaires use e-mails like this one to assist with transferring funds overseas. The recipient of this e-mail became extremely rich

Nigeria is run by a series of Military Heads of State, whose reigns typically follow the following pattern. First, the leader accumulates vast amounts of wealth via 419 spamming. Then, the leader either locks up their wealth in foreign accounts (but forgets to give their family the money to pay the access fee), or stores it inside Nigeria's state banks. Next, the leader is invariably overthrown by the next Military Head of State. The family, naturally, urgently wishes to flee the country, and may need the assistance of a foreigner to help them get their assets out. Prominent leaders of Nigeria dispatched this way include the late Sani Abacha, Gen. Mobutu Sese Seko, and many others.

[edit] Technology sector

Nigeria has an extensive technology sector. The biggest business sector in Nigeria is online financial re-allocation. Many wealthy countries such as Britain often have large sums of unclaimed money. Nigerians are typically employed to re-allocate millions of dollars to lucky Americans via email for a 100,000$ (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SMACKEROOS) bank fee. Prince Okambo Magoma is a great benefactor for the tech industry. In fact, He has recently created an email research center in downtown Abuja...

The country code of Nigeria is "419".

[edit] Treaties

Nigeria is currently at peace with every country. In fact, due to every citizen being ordered to play Total War games for 4 hours every day, Nigeria is better placed to defend itself than any other country, excluding the Penguin army which guards Tasmania.

[edit] Economy

Main article: Nigerian economy

The major sector of Nigerian economy is scam. Nigerian Scam Spam constitute 55 % of the Internet e-mail traffic and is together with pornography and drugs one of the three most profitable commodities traded on the Internet Brap Brap!!!

[edit] Exports

Nigeria's main exports include 419 spams, oil, honest black people, black people likely to scam, scams themselves, coconuts, pine nuts, narcotics, palm oil, monkeys, delicious beer, cuisine, Patricia Heaton, Senator Mc Anus.

Seye Soyombo was recently exported to The United States of America through a Nigerian exchange program for a little American boy. Sadly, he is now receiving e-mails to transfer 47 million little boys.

[edit] Imports

Nigeria major import is electronic bank transfers using bank details you were stupid enough to give to them.

[edit] Pax Nigeriana

Pax Nigeriana is the emergence of Nigeria as a formidable power. With a population of 140 million, 2 in 12 (1 in 6 - factorise properly you bitch) Africans are Nigerian. Nigerians are known for their light Caucasian complexion and blend nicely with the British. It has long been rumoured that England is in fact the true location of Nigeria.

[edit] Nigerian History

Nigerian history is most commonly documented first hand, and archived by circulating millions of emails to people in the free world. Nigerian historians are known for their huge monetary expenses, and the need to transfer funds into Western bank accounts, usually through Western union. For instance, here is a key portion of the Nigerian Oil industry's history:

Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2003 18:04:05 +0200
From: "j_luthman" <j_luthman@libero.it>
To: "<insert name here>" <<insert name here>@uncyclopedia.org>
Subject: FROM JONATHAN .

Urgent and Confidential.

Dear Friend,

I am Jonathan Luthman a 25 years old boy and my sister is susan a 22 years old girl were the only
survival son and daughter of late prominate business man Mr.Harrison Luthman from Yugoslavia. My
father left Yugoslavia in the year 1971 to Angola in Africa there he started a new life career by
buying and selling diamond to foreign country such as belgiun i-e brussel not quite long he met
with my mother an Angola woman and they both engage in marriage all to enable him to gain ground
in Angola.

After some years he had a private minning company called branch energy unfortunate for him war
broke out and he was assassinated by the rebels simply because of diamonds and this lead to
untimely wind up of his investment but,nevertheless my father been a man with foresight had
disclose to my mother that he deposited some huge amount of money with a security company outside
Angola for future project and after his death ,this lead to immediate evacuation of my mother,
myself and my sister to a country called COTE D'IVOIRE where the money is deposited.So good,so
bad, my mother as well after locating the security company due to much thinking she had to gave
up the spirit some months after arrival.

Now presently I and my sister are lying helplessly in the refugee camp in Abidjan.My father
deposited $32 million dollars which is in a trunk box and declare it as a family belonging.Sir I
and my sister here by crying and demanding for your assistance over the retrievement of this
consignment out of the security company to your country for onward lucrative business of our
choice, in which you will be our guardian concerning the investment.Please we need a God fearing
person one that is considerate inlife and ready to be a good friend for us as this is the only
heritage leftfor us.

Note! 15% of the total amount is map out for you and 5% is for every expenses that we may incure
during the transaction. More also, all the necessary document concernning the deposit is intact
incase if the need call for it.Please email us with j_luthman@libero.it Immediately you recieve
this mail.

Thanks and God Bless.

yours Faithfully

Jonathan and Susan Luthman.

Abidjan

It is a well known fact that Nigeria is currently building on it's relationship with Wales, and that they are preparing for war. This upcoming war, the Welsh-Nigerio war (aka. WW3) will see this alliance of the world's most powerful two countries gaining global control. According to key information given by Nigeria's political correspondent Tom Hanks, that after their takeover of the world the Welsh-Nigerio alliance intends to start a chain of fast-food restaurants around the world. This chain under the name of "Dafydd Omolopo's good Nigerian food" will sell the already popular hybrid of Wales and Nigeria's famed foods Black pudding and fufu. It is estimated that this chain will earn approximately 86000 UGD per year.

While Nigeria itself doesn't have electricity, the country still is capable of using electrical goods, as all Nigerian bibles come complete with a plug socket built into the back cover. This enables Nigerians to run electrical goods from their blind faith, by connecting their appliance to the bible.

Nigeria is also well known for it's high turnaround of deceased royalty and businessmen, all who happen to die in tragic circumstances and fail to leave wills or notes to their left of kin behind. As of the writing of this article, Nigeria has run to 42,978,341 seperate royal dynasties in 50 years and the average Nigerian business elects a new CEO on emergency session every 6 hours.

[edit] See Also

• Nigerian economy
• Esenam Ayele - Wishes to share his millions with the rest of the world, but is having trouble getting takers.
• Pwn3d
• Niggers
• World Poverty
• Barbados