Nintendo 128

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“What's one o' those then?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Nintendo 128

The Nintendo 128 is, as the name suggests the Nintendo console aimed at the dodecagenarian adult market (the over 127's, to be exact). It is also Nintendo's 2006th console and the 26th Nintendo console to be named after a number that has nothing to do with the console.

Nintendo 128: Now with more 3D Ns in the logo.

[edit] History of the 128

[edit] Origins

The 128 started life as an automatic stair lift gone horribly wrong. After seeing a news article about an OAP killed when his stair lift went berserk and ate him, Nintendo Executive Ebeneezer J Kirby was reminded much of his younger days of adventure and excitement, and decided to hook a game station to the controls of his own stair lift. This primitive device soon progressed into a truly unique system, where the gamer is actually more likely to die at the hands of the console than inside the penis game they were playing.

[edit] Awards and Records

If he says so, it is

The 128 holds many awards for most people being slaughtered outright by a home gaming console. However, its most notable achievement is the world record for most OAP's to die simultaneously all due to the same thing but none of them related at all; the record stands at 1,666, beating the previous title owner, "The Omen 64" by (at least) 1,000.

[edit] Games

Being a games console, the 128 played actual games, which surprised consumers worldwide who had been previously acclimated to the standard nongamelike Xbox torture methods.

Some of the most successful games for the 128 were:

• Mario RIP - Gone but not Forgotten
• Donkey Kong Senior - Mash those Bananas for Me, you Whippersnapper!
• Legend of Zelda - Pyre of Fire
• Coffin Racing 2K6
• Heart, ATTACK!
• You can't read the title so why bother?
• Kirby - Finally Over the Hill
• The Adventures of Bayou Billy 2 - African Ninja Cyborg from Geriatrics
• Sonic 128

[edit] The End of the 128

Unfortunately in 2000, the 128 had to be withdrawn from the market after receiving almost as many complaints as a typical Janet Jackson Super Bowl performance.