Norwegian Discotheque Stone
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Please ignore this article and go to Kenya immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Urination on this article is accepted, as is the shunning of all its inhabitants. After all, they do not have lions, tigers or Zebras and it will give them something to do.
[edit] The Norwegian Discotheque Stone
Donated to the people of Norway in 1972 by extra-terrestrials from the planet Sirius. King Olav graciously accepted the stone and said "Fy faen, dette var fete saker!", which roughly translates to "Goddamn, this is way cool shit, man!".
The Stone, said to be a hundred times faster and way more accurate than that old philosophers one, is brought out from under the royal liquor-cabinet once a year (now by the new king, King Harald).
His drunken eyes slowly focus in on its shiny centre and it is said that the king is able to see precisely 27 minutes into the future exactly what will be happening 134 kilometres to the south-west of the Stones location.
Last year he saw a guy walking along a sidewalk, thinking he just passed a krone (norwegian currency: about 15 cents) laying in the gutter, talking a few steps back he realizes it was just a flattened top from a beer bottle. A call was placed, and half an hour later the report came, the prophesy was correct, in the town of Drammen a man did indeed mistake a bottle-top for a krone.
There was much rejoice throughout the land, and the man walking the sidewalk was honoured with a three course dinner at the castle and a royal blowjob by the queen (aired live on national tv).
[edit] The whole thing with God saying Bush is a big silly
In the case of the whole thing with God saying Bush is a big silly, this was all blown way out of proportion by the international media. The Norwegian king was piss-drunk during an interview, and while proudly fondling his Discotheque Stone for the cameras, he loses it and it smashes into the marble floor of the castle.
The King, in a total irrational fit of rage, starts blaming Bush for the whole thing, saying the American President has psychic powers and has had it in for the king ever since that incident at Camp David (it is unsure which incident this is, since the Norwegian king has never been to Camp David).
Anyway, God was suddenly involved in the argument between the King and some mysterious entity totally invisible to the reporters, and the whole thing was horribly misquoted.
