Norzombies

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A Norzombie displaying the, er, "fruits of his orifices" during a rather nasty sales campaign aimed at Danish consumers.

Uninformed folk think that Norzombies are secluded monks living in ancient abandoned tunnels in Norway. Most well-informed cryptopharmacists, however, know that these strange beings are actually Vikings rendered immortal by mixing seriously bad moonshine with the national specialty, the Cheese Which Must Not Be Named -- the hideous 300-year bog-matured cheese only hinted at by the Mad Bard Snorrel Hassradde in his forbidden epic, the Ethblpthbykjir.

[edit] Creation of a Norzombie

The Norzombification process is not unlike embalming; scientists have theorized that the cheese actually forms fungoid networks in the host body, animating the pickled corpse. Unfortunately, no empirical evidence has been gathered as only a few researchers sent in to investigate are later recovered in northern Finland, hung-over and suffering memory blackouts on the order of decades.

What is known is that the process by which the Norzombies gain immortality causes a curd-like substance to drip from their orifices. This they gather in special traditional gelatinous packages and barter to the only trading corporation authorized to deal with them, the East TINE Company, in trade for yeast and sugar. This substance, which resembles cheese only if you cross your eyes by more than 90 degrees and try to breathe through your mouth, is branded "Norzola" and sold to Norwegian consumer-class otters, renowned for considering anything a delicacy if the bark doesn't contain too many beetles.