Nose
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For the Self Contained Open Air Breathing Aparatus, see Kornelis de Peuter
 PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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“ I Dont have a big nose, its big boned. . ”
~ It. on Nose
“ Im Naustralian! . ”
~ A Common Naustralian. on Nose
The biggest nose on the face of the planet belongs to a kid named Vikram Manoranjan. (Nose)
Plural "Neese". Appendage on the end of your elbow, or very rarely, your hip. Nose is sometimes called a nose because nose is thought to stand for Not anOther Sticky Elbow (appendage). However, this was made up by George W. Bush. Nose is really a shortened form of the word noselectionitionialistly. No one knows what this word means except Eli Whitney and he ain't telling. Although... We have ways of making him talk. Hee hee...
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[edit] The use of Noses
Noses have several uses. These include
- Wearhouse of green bugger for a varity of uses[see sniping with your nose]
- Nobody Nose.....
- Nose picking
- Nose picking[literally]
- Nose pickiling
- Finding the feet/socks/sneakers/armpits of male family members.
- Baffling people with the word noselectionitionialistly.
- Growing into another arm
- They may one day become a mind control device utilized by Jesus Washington George Washington Christ Mary Jesus Washington.
- Nasal Sex
- Um...
- Noses are often the site of Buried treasure, which requires digging to remove. Treasure is ussually rolled into balls for packing. Tables are ussually decorated with buried treasure. The difference with plates, however, are that they are hidden under the table.
- Sniping your nearby friends with it by putting your right hand finger or left if your left handed[considering 7% of the population is left handed so i wont continue the sentence cause i dont give a fuck]in a 43.5 angle and blow your nose with sudden air to launch a green ball like bullet.
- Deep frying. It is often though that the nose is useless, as we can see from the above 'uses', however, we forget that the nose makes an excellent deepfryer. As we all know kids like deep fried foods, so why else would they excavate a nostril, other than to get at the deep fryed goodness inside???
Ok, they are totally useless. That is besides the point, however. To find the point, click on that link.
poop
[edit] The philosophy of the nose
How do you know if your nose is still there when you are not looking in the mirror? Oh yeh you can still see it...
[edit] People with no noses
the only well known group with no noses is the so called, Brats.
"How do they sneeze?"
Walt Disney on the Brats.
In this day and age of experimental drugs and incest rates at 50 year highs, more and more people are born without noses. This has made the nose a top selling organ on the international black market, with some noses going for over $70,000 (or about 50 goats in rural countries). "Nose-harvesting" as its called in Uzbekistan is on the rise. In the USA, about 400 noses are harvested each year. Naturally, this has caused some concern among certain celebrities, Gonzo chief among them. Incidentally, Michael Jackson has recently laid off his own bodyguards.
--Kiernanisall 01:05, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Oscar Wilde
“AAAAH!!! MY NOSE!! MY NOSE!! Where did it GO?? Oh. There it is!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Nose
“oh noes!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Noes
[edit] The original nose
Back in the olden days, common folk would use their nose for travel. Nowadays the trick of nose transportation is not quite as widely known. Scientists claim this is for the best, as the procedure is often said to be extremely painful and would bankrupt the bus companies. And we all know how enjoyable driving old biddies and nutters round their daily routine is, (as we are all fully by saying hellllooooooo. But we're getting off track here. We all know that when our nose runs it’s really just an indication to others that we have recently been taken over by an old man called Molly that enjoys playing imaginary snooker with his pet canary named fish man. But yet again we are getting off track. In conclusion noses are the oddest things in the universe and I suggest you avoid them.
"My nose is a tractor!"
Oscar Wilde on noses.
"I'm a naughty girl!"
Winston Churchill on noses... supposedly.
In Soviet Russia, nose picks you!
The nose was named after umm ok forget it I don't know...
[edit] See also
- Article 13.5 and one third also known as the Nose picking law
- Pieter jan de beer, renown for discovering his nose
- Bogies!
Vikrama (Nose)
