Nosferatu
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Count Nosferatu 'Nos' Grauens (1763-?) was an actor, a director, a vampire, a playwright and a noted plagiarist from Transylvania, Kentucky, The United States. His best known work is probably the film Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
Nosferatu 'Nos' Grauens was born in 1763 in South Transylvania, Kentucky, The United States. He was the bastard son of Count Hanz Grauens, a Romanian immigrant from Germany. In 1915, he left The United States to pursue a career in the then flourishing German movie industry. He returned homewards in 1916, when he noticed a conflict that was going on that involved Germany and other parts of the world. Nosferatu spent the rest of his life in The United States pretending to be German. He made the films like Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens in his hometown, with an entirely German cast. He got it in a Berlin hospital, following a knee fracture, following a bicycle accident by crashing into a Berlin wall. The wall was undamaged. No one knows where he is at the moment, perhaps he died, perhaps he still lives among us, or perhaps he ventured off to another planet, but the only thing certain is that he was a powerful vampire known to create great films about lots of stuff he was interested in.
[edit] Career
Nosferatu was a pioneer in the expressionist movement, which was quite remarkable for a cross-eyed criple. His disabilities helped creating the recognisable style of the popular art movement. Not only was the count blind and legless, the eccentric filmmaker with ratlike features had a speech impairment, but that didn't stop him from becoming a huge star in the silent movie industry. It was however, the reason his movies remained silent beyond the end of the silent movie era. His first film was Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens, in which he played the main part, he also directed this movie picture.
He was part of the comedy troop The Bat Pack, which formed in 1954. Together with fellow vampires Béla Lugosi, Blacula and Ed Wood, they released several top grossing films such as Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens.
[edit] Quotes on Nosferatu
“What can I say? The guy's an ugly bastard. But he's a sweet ugly bastard, and I love him.”
~ F.W. Murnau
“Time and time again these civilians ask me for food, so I give them food.... Hmmm, it looks like there's little more whine left on your shirt next to your neck, let me just clean that up.... *slurp*”
~ Count Nosferatu



