Nostradumbass
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Nostradumbass (a while ago-last week) was technically a seer, much like his life's hero, Nostradamus. However, unlike Nostradamus, he was able to see the future, but frequently misinterpreted it due to being dumb as hell.
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[edit] Early life
Nostradumbass was born with much more success than babies of that era (considering that people back then had no idea how to properly handle an umbilical cord) and was quite a healthy baby. However, as soon as his parents exited the building, a clumsy construction worker who was repairing a window directly above the hospital exit dropped one of his tools, which struck Nostradumbass on the noggin. The result had an upside and a downside. The upside was that he was blessed with the ability to see the future. The downside was that he was so blatantly stupid that school gave up on him.
[edit] Career as a seer
Nostradumbass' first attempt at seeing the future was with none other than the oft-respectable Oscar Wilde. Wilde needed to know the success of his upcoming book, The Picture of my Bengay. Nostradumbass saw a vision of Wilde being chased down by a pod of critics, but mistook their threats for praise, and said that Wilde would have many more fans. Of course, that alone tipped Wilde off, since that was impossible. Nevertheless, Wilde thanked Nostradumbass, paid him in full, and recommended him to friends and well-wishers for a good laugh. Hilarity ensued.
[edit] Untimely death
Last week, Nostradumbass decided that being stupid just wasn't for him, and visited a brain surgeon to remedy the wound in his thinking-blob. Upon the operation's success, Nostradumbass became unable to see the future, but incredibly smart. He then used his smarts to condescendingly explain to the brain surgeon how he had failed at numerous points to improve his thought processes. The brain surgeon corrected his error with a careful application of his atomic scalpel. Nostradumbass was then thrown in so that the criminally insane could devour him.
[edit] Addendum
If donly that guy wasn't so moronic, he could have made me rich, instead of having to write this half-assed article just before I pass out from exhaustion. Even when the brain surgeon made him smart, he was stupid. Damn but he was stupid.
[edit] See Also
Categories: Stupid | Coherent | Idiots
