Number Bases
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“All Your Number Base Are Belong To Us”
~ CATS on Number Base
Number bases are inconvenient ways of counting things invented by mathematicians with the object of keeping us busy while they read the next chapter in Basic Mathematics.
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[edit] Base 10
The most popular number base is Base 10. We don't know why. It just is. By some inexplicable happenstance, the numbers in Base 10 co-incide with the numbers we all use for such common tasks as counting peas, children, trees and misfortunes. They include the following digits:
- 0
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- lots
By assiduous use of fingers and toes, it has been shown that almost any quantity of stuff can be represented by one or more of the above digits used in close conjunction with each other.
[edit] Base 2
Also known as Binary, Base 2 is an system of counting that's almost baroque in its complexity. Base 2 is responsible for many woes of the modern world, including fuzzy logic, Microsoft, the interweb, large hardon colliders and teletubbies.
The listing of all digits used in Base 2 is restricted by law and common morals. For the sake of the children, only one of them is listed here:
- 6
[edit] Base 555
Base 555 is used in conditions where counting stuff is unlikely or improbable, such as when falling from a tree, choking on a nut, yodeling or swinging cats.
Counting in Base 555 is as easy as this: you simply say "Oh, I don't know. Lots!"
[edit] Base 16
Base 16 is popularly known as hexadecimal. The use of the word 'hex' obviously indicates the use of automagic in the application of the Base 16 counting system. To avoid unintentional enchantation, simply use Base 8 on both hands at once.
[edit] Base 8
Base 8, or Octal, is a general purpose counting system for stuff that comes in eights, such as beer. If you have 8 of something, count it in Octal. If you have more or less than 8, use another Base.
Base 8 has you guesed it, 8 digits:
- 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
[edit] Base 37
Base 37 is the most inconvenient and unusable base. Only use base 37:
- Never
- If a friend dares you to
- If you're really drunk
- If a friend dares you to and your really drunk
or
- When you lock you keys in your car
Those cool kids who hang out under the bleachers may try to pressure you into using Base 37 but just say NO! Base 37 is bad m'kay.
[edit] Base Infinity
Base infinity is a number base created by the Chinese so that their math would be even harder to memorize than their language. In base infinity every number is represented by one digit thereby exceding the limit of human memory and causing your brain to explode on contact with it. Decimals are also completely useless but nobody likes them anyways.
[edit] Base Zero
The final base, Base Zero (or 'Nonetal') may be applied when no counting of anything is needed.
