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They're always after me Lucky Charms!

The O'Possum is the Irish national animal. Once used as a tiebreaker in drinking games, the O'Possum is now protected under International Law as an endangered species.

[edit] Habitat

O'Possums can usually be found in forests near large cities or in pubs, usually around the time the Dublin Drunken Popes, an Irish Premier League futball club, are playing. O'Possums are biturnal, meaning they never sleep and usually have a hangover. This is also why O'Possums are very sensitive to loud noises.

[edit] Eating Habits

O'Possums are alchovores, meaning that they only consume alcohol. They usually drink to the point of hallucination, where they think the are the Pope.

[edit] Mating Habits

O'Possums usually mate with other O'Possums that they never would have mated with if they were sober. Their evolution as alchovores has encouraged procreation for the O'Possum.

Nocturnal mating also aids in the acceptance of otherwise repugnant partners. When the O'Possum liqour supply runs thin they may be forced into brief sobriety; coherent enough to be "painfully" aware of their mates aggressively grin.

[edit] Attacks on Humans

Only one O'Possum attack is known. Shamus O'Reilly, a fan of the Wexford Wombats, was splashed with sulfuric acid (or sulphuric acid if you're a godless commie from Rest of World who likes to spell thing phunny) by a rabid O'Possum after the Wombats defeated the Drunken Popes 2-1.

[edit] Other Facts

• Blah blah blah drunk joke.
• An O'Possum—code name Yer Man—was the first, and as of 2005 only, living being to orbit the Earth as part of the Irish Space Programme. He blasted off on 23 May 1965 on a Knock IV booster from the Cape Clear Space Centre, but due to a trajectory miscalculation (later traced to an argument between mission specialists over how big St Patrick's coracle would have had to have been to carry all his robes) the capsule only entered orbit on 4 September 1983.
• O'Possums taste good when prepared with a fresh chutney. There is a bit of a gamey aftertaste, however.

[edit] O'Possums in Popular Culture

• O'Possums are typically bred for their skills in magic.
• O'Possums can be used as work animals, such as pulling a cart.
• Jack Benny had a pet possum, and brought it to work with him. It remained backstage.