Grey Jedi
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In dramatizations such as Star Wars, the Knights of the Jedi are portrayed in black and white moral terms, either good or evil, Jedi or Sith. In reality the world of force-weilders is a far more complex, morally gray one.
There are, in fact, a large number of former Jedi who are not so much evil as they are a tad unscrupulous. The power of the force my corrupt the pure of heart, but the rapscallions of the universe usually just use it to have a little fun.
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[edit] OBGYN-Kenobi
The most famous of these is OBGYN-Kenobi (pronounced O-bi Ji-wy-en Ke-no-bi). Though not his given name, this pseudo-Jedi earned the nickname for his tendency to use the powers of the Jedi Mind Trick to impersonate a gynecologist. You see, as it turns out, most fallen Jedi are less interested in the dark side of the force than in the dark side of a girl's pants.
[edit] Darth Bater
A notorious grey jedi is Master Darth Bater, a.k.a. Master Bater. Best known as the inventor of the force grip, he used this expertly designed technique for the sexual arousal of his victims, while also developing it for his own unique technique. He also has the unique ability to survive without sex for record time, only achieved by a technique of his own, only referred to as Master-Bation in his honor (variants may include Darthbation or Masterdarthbation).
[edit] Gigoli
This tactic, or some variation of it, is quite common among semi-fallen Jedi that they as a whole are often referred to as Gigoli. Despite the somewhat unethical nature of the seduction practices that Gigoli tend to use, many women report them to be excellent lovers. Use of the force during foreplay allows for a variety of maneuvers not otherwise possible and, during intercourse, use of the Force can substitute for a hand, allowing for further manipulation. It is a little-known fact that the gripping power famously used by Darth Vader to choke his enemies can also be applied to other body parts with significantly more pleasurable results.
[edit] Force Powers
Interestingly, possession of Force powers renders some of these pesky whippersnappers more effective than actual gynecologists; all one needs to be convinced are the powers of:
- Force Push
- Force Speed
- Force Sight
- Force Heal
- Force Drain
- Force Grip
- But Most Importantly "Force Orgasm"
And a Jedi can easily scan and deliver a baby without any complicated machinery! With additional powers, abortions can be performed easily and safely (where legal, of course).
