Obituary
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
An Obituary is a short, personalized fanfic about a recently deceased person. It usually includes their name, age, hometown, how they ascended to the right hand of the Almighty and how glorious it was, biographical details, survivors, predeceased relatives and funeral arrangements.
The odds of an obituary being an accurate source of information about a person are less than zero. Likewise, the likelihood of an obituary conveying poignancy is so small as to be unworthy of comment.
[edit] Post-Cold War Obituaries
With the fall of the Soviet Union, the obituary-writing field was flooded with former Soviet writers looking for new employment. Well-accustomed to rewriting history and news to fit the current sociopolitical climate, they put many veteran obit writers out of work. Many of these writers went on to become authors for Wikipedia.
An example of a recent obituary from the Los Angeles Times:
LOS ANGELES -- Perry Lafferty, a network executive whose reputation in the television industry was as stellar as the landmark CBS shows that he brought to the small screen in the 1970s, including All in the Family and M*A*S*H, has died. He was 87.
Mr. Lafferty died of prostate cancer Aug. 25 at his home in the Los Angeles area, his family said.
His peers considered him among the last of a breed -- a network executive who came up through the ranks, beginning with producing radio shows before moving over to TV to produce early drama anthologies.
'Perry was a hip father confessor who wasn't looking down from the mount,' said Larry Gelbart, who co-created M*A*S*H and wrote many episodes of the comedy that aired on CBS from 1972 to 1983.
You could say the network was beating up on you, and he acted as a very benign and positive kind of chief justice,' Gelbart said.
Mr. Lafferty was "as good an executive as I've ever worked with," said Fred Silverman, who was in charge of entertainment programming at CBS and president of NBC when Mr. Lafferty worked there. 'He had great taste, good instincts -- and a sense of humor.'
During Mr. Lafferty's 11-year reign as head of West Coast programming at CBS, he brought "quite a lineup" to the air, Silverman said, including such early 1970s shows as The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Waltons and Maude. The network was consistently number one in the ratings.
Note that the writer is completely oblivious to the natural hatred and loathing that TV executives typically inspire.
