Ocean's Eleventy-one
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Ocean's Eleventy-one, directed by Steven Soderbergh, is the prequel to the popular science fiction series which includes Ocean's Eleven and Ocean's Twelve. It was released in 2054, fifty years after the release of Episode 15. This has angered some fans, who believe that all sequels/prequels should be released as a Christmas special in the same year as the original film.
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[edit] Story
Ocean's Eleventy-one chronicles the life of Daniel Ocean's father, Darth Ocean (played by Hayden Christensen).
As a child, Darth Ocean was adept in the Light Side of robbing casinos.
Darth converted to the Dark Side, became a casino owner, and was given the evil-sounding name Terry Benedict.
His son Danny doesn't learn the truth about his father until Ocean's Forty-Two:The Hitch-hiker's guide to Las Vegas, scheduled for release in 2154.
[edit] Awards
Ocean's Fifteen: A New Hope is the latest Steven Soderbergh film to beat a dead horse. It debuted at the Cannes Film Festival in 2009 and won many accolades but failed to win the main award "Most annoying sequel writer" which was awarded to George Lucas and "Greatest drawn out series" an award that went to Batman XII: How Alfred got his mojo back.
Tagline: Revenge, Counter-revenge, counter-counter revenge, combo-breaker, combo-breaker save, combo-breaker save revenge, counter-counter-counter-combo-breaker save revenge is a wonderful thing.
[edit] Plot
The plot is the same old revenge shit with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and the rest of the no-name cast, this time teaming up with "ex-bad guys but now helping them out for mutual benefit" Andy Garcia (bad guy in 11, 12), Al Pacino (13), Robert De Nero (14) and Danny Devito (14.5) to infiltrate the church of scientology that has newly moved its head office to Las Vegas posing as a Casino. Unfortunately their nemesis this time is Ethan Hawke (Tom Cruise) who just so happens to be pretty good at breaking into places himself, thank you very much, and he gets revenge on those who are trying to get revenge on him. How ironic. The ensuing counter-revenge and counter-counter revenge makes the movie just too fucking long. Even though there are 15 characters none of them actually get any character development.
[edit] Cast
- George Clooney - Danny Ocean
- Was born in British Colonial India on a pirate ship during a typhoon and was once employed as an agent by the East India Trading Company. Ocean helmed the Wicked Wench performing odd jobs for Willie Banks. When he refused to transport slaves and instead freed them in Africa, Banks sanctioned the torching (and sinking) of the Wicked Wench, and literally branded Danny Ocean a pirate. Ocean came to embrace his outlaw status, becoming a successful pirate with no desire to return to life under the command of others. He soon became one of the Nine Pirate Lords, however there are only 7 seas so his territory became the Las Vegas desert.
- Brad Pitt - Rusty Ryan
- Lived a boring repetitive life as a car-crash assessor before he faked his own death by blowing up his own apartment with explosives he made from human body fat. He moved to an abandoned house on paper street before recruiting every star in hollywood and one meatloaf into an international poker game.
- Cat Damon - Linus Caldwell
- A master cat burglar he has stolen millions in fish shaped ornaments. A pokemon, he has the ability to communicate any idea by saying his own name in different pitches and melodies.
- Al Pacino - Willie Banks
- Willie Banks was scorned throughout his childhood because of his name he became a figure head in Las Vegas. His company named after himself is by far the largest sperm depository in all of Nevada as he holds a 85% market share.
- Shaobo Qin - Yen
- Yen is a ninja and also the national currency of Japan. He trained as a circus midget before his career took a nose dive after he was caught kitten huffing on the night he was to debut on Cirque de Solei.
- Andy Garcia - Terry Benedict
- He owns three casinos yet he requires the help of eleven misfits to get revenge on Al Pachino, just because he's not as badass as him. Oh and Julia Roberts still won't return his phone calls.
- Casey Affleck - Virgil Malloy
- Not sure what the bastard brother Casey is doing in this movie. The audience doesn't even know his name. Even in production he was referred to as Ben Affleck's brother.
- Bernie Mac - Frank Catton
- Frank is played by controversial actor Bernie Mac. His show, arrogantly named after himself, features himself mostly sitting on his favorite chair and addressing "America". The Bernie Mac Show bucks trends by avoiding crude humor and sex jokes, and the messages this show provide are ultimately positive, a bad thing. Another thing that disgusts people of all races is how the Bernie Mac Show is one of the first comedies to feature a Black cast, but doesn't saddle its characters and story lines with African-American stereotypes. Fortunately he's just the token black guy in this movie.
- Scott Caan - Turk Malloy
- Really, we're just filling out the eleven here. He was in Enemy of the State and Gone in 60 seconds, or so we are told.
- Noureen DeWulf - 'Nuff Said Expo Girl
- The most important role of the film. 'Nuff Said Expo Girl was born in Doylestown, Pennsylvania to Vietnam veteran James Moore and nurse Judy Kugel. She is of Jewish ancestry on her mother's side, and is Irish, German and Lithuanian on her father's. She grew up in Doylestown, Pennsylvania where she attended Central Bucks West High School. Her father played guitar and sang songs for her, and from an early age she aspired to be a rock star. 'Nuff Said Expo Girl 's biggest influences are Steven Tyler, Bad Religion, Bob Marley, Billy Joel, and 2Pac. An asthmatic, she learned to kitten huff from her lower abdomen instead of her chest on doctor's advice.
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