Ocean
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The Ocean is a large body of diluted sewage located in north-western Africa that Mako Tsunami married.
Contents |
[edit] History
Six million years ago, when dinosaurs still walked the earth, a diverse population of rodents began burrowing under south-east Pangaea, the landmass which one-day would become Africa. With no natural predators except the T-rex, (and he was way too big to burrow after them) the rodents created a vast underground tunnel network.
Unfortunately, lacking experienced engineers and hydrologists, the tunnels soon began to fill with water. Like rats from a sinking ship (almost exactly like!) the rodents fled their tunnels, as the entire continent began to fill with water. Fast-forward a million years, the dinosaurs are dead, and the tunnels have collapsed to form the fetid swamp of rodent fecal matter we now call the Ocean. Surfers, due to their lack of formal university education, are currently unaware of this situation.
[edit] Uses
Some people "fish" in the ocean, although nobody really knows what they expect to catch (something dispicable).
Fish and other marine life use the ocean as their own personal toilet. Every time you swim, you're swimming in fish filth.
It is widely known that any oaks found close to the ocean are laser turrets placed by aliens to destroy any ship carrying 261.28740571932 kilograms of cherry jam. The crew of any such ship should be sure to wear gardening gloves to protect their toes.
[edit] Ocean Hazards
The ocean is not all smiles and sunshine. Every year it claims the lives of hundreds of people who carelessly frolic in the wild wetness. Ocean experts suggest using the buddy system when asea, and for the love of God, don't trust anything that lives underwater.
Here are some of the most common hazards encountered while in the ocean, which most certainly will lead to your death.
- Sharks
- Electric eels
- The dreaded sting ray
- Crabs (all kinds)
- An iceberg
- Scuba-diving bears
- Giant squid
- Keebler Elves
- A radio thats plugged in
- Dynamite
- Fish in general
- Slick con men in groups of 11 to 13
[edit] Trivia
- Ocean has only one syllable.
- Muddy Waters comes from the ocean.
- "Blue are the life giving waters" a famous quote from Jimi Hendrix referring to the roots of his music.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Do Not See Also
Note: Please ignore the contradictions of the following box:
| Earth's Fifteen Oceans |
| Antarctic Ocean ~ Atlantean Ocean ~ Atlantic Ocean ~ Billy Ocean ~ Boiling Pitch Ocean |
| Dawson's Creek ~ Indian Ocean ~ Martian Ocean ~ Mediterranean |
| Ocean Connery ~ Pacific Ocean ~ Phlegmatic Ocean ~ Russian Ocean ~ Southern Ocean |
